twins...

I'm not going to lie. I feel his pain. Being the second-born twin ain't easy. It's an unstated competition every. single. day. Jacob and Esau wrestled in the womb and warred before entering earth. Jas and I wrestled on living room floors, in academic settings, and on athletic fields. It comes with the territory of being a twin. But through the years we've been partners in crime, change agents for good, and hustlers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She does it with a camera. I do it with my voice.

Several references in Genesis describe the different giftings Jacob and Esau possessed. One worked in the field. The other worked domestically. One worked closer to their father. One worked closer to their mother. One was hairy and smelled funny. One was smooth-skinned and smelled like Tide and hints of Downey. The dichotomy between them could've made a dynamic combination of biblical proportions. Instead the journey included pain, death, bitterness, and a limp.

Though not everyone is a twin, I'm sure we all struggled with a competitive spirit or jealousy or flat-out Hater Syndrome. (Don't lie, you know it's true.) Sometimes we're put in situations which cause us to focus on what we are NOT rather than what we ARE. I work in a faith-based sector, I'm close to my mom, and I'm not hairy like Jasmine.* If I focus on what God has called me to do, I don't have time to look at what I'm not good at or what I don't have. It's just that simple.

God puts people into our lives for specific purposes. Think of that one person who you're at odds with... now focus on how different you are... now try to imagine partnering with them on something, anything. How can you come together and be change agents for good?

The cool thing about Jacob and Esau is we know how the story ends. Yes, there is restitution, but it came at a cost. If both brothers were to partner in God's individual blessings, imagine what the biblical annals might have looked like! Instead of waring with our brothers and sisters in Christ, how can we partner with them? Here's a tip: start with looking at your faults before analyzing others. Thought? Comments? Stones to throw?

*I can only say this because she is on another continent at the moment and can't kick my butt. Yes, she still kicks my butt. But she's my bestest friend and I love with more than bootcamp workouts, Mama's arroz con gandules, and reading in bed.

green...

The length of her legs reaches to about my eyelids and her hair hangs at the side of her size 2 waist. She has to be a fitness coach, professional dancer, or super model because really, who looks like a Grecian goddess at 5:30AM? 

She and I have history. Oh boy, do we have history! One morning in spin class we happened to sit on bikes that were next to each other and I, being the non-competitive girl that I am, had to exert more energy, sweat more sweat, and push pass pain. She, on the other hand, whisked through the workout effortlessly. At the end of the workout the instructor glanced in my direction and said, Good workout, Shorty! Obviously she was talking to the girl who stands 5'4'' (on a good day). I mean, obviously. I smiled a proud smile until she said, No, girl! You're not Shorty, she is, as she points to America's Next Top Model. She must have seen the confused look on my face. To encourage me she quickly replied, You're not Shorty. Your Killer! I blinked my eyes with rapidity to indicate my disbelief. Did I wear a spiked collar and leather chaps to the gym today? No, I wore a hot pink Lulu Lemon top and black pants which doesn't scream Killer the last time I checked with Stacy and Clinton. I called my best friends and recounted the story. They laughed at my expense... I hope you can too. 

I saw her today and thought about all the things she didn't have to do. You know, like hem denim, wear 4-inch heels to look like the average height of a woman, stand on tip-toes to get stuff in a cupboard. I felt like my skin was turning every shade of green with every envious thought bubbling in my mind. A cauldron of jealousy was brewing and I caught myself... four hours later. I wish I could say that I bowed my head, prayed for forgiveness, and repented from my heathen ways that very second. But I didn't. 

I read this morning in Proverbs 27:4, Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can withstand jealousy? I was totally convicted because for months I have been so jealous and envious of a woman I didn't even know. I know a good chunk of blog readers will be attending the series I'll be teaching next week and for those that are, can I ask you to take a good hard look at your areas of weakness? Honestly analyze who are you and see if you fall short. And let me tell you, I fall shorter than 5'4'' in many areas.... even with 4-inch heels on.

Admission is the first step to recovery,

B