ivan drago, me, and the sprint that changed everything...

So Rosie the Riveter, Irina Dunn, and every other Femi-Nazi who doesn't shave their underarms would've been proud today. In fact, Hillary Clinton would've probably patted me on my back as I finished my wind-sprints in bootcamp today. Oh that's right, Internet! I walked in late to the gym and saw two guys in my 5:15am bootcamp class. As sovereignty would have it, I was placed next to a tall guy with a shaved head and goatee who looked at Jacqueline and I as we walked in and took our places. As the instructor lined us up for sprints, he looked at me and smiled. But like a condescending smile which read I-Will-Kill-You [said like Ivan Drago from Rocky 4]. I returned the pregnant look with, I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar [rawr!].

Let's just say the competitive beast came out in me and I was determined to have this guy read the invisible Eat My Dust sign on my back. And he did.

As bootcamp finished and we walked to spin class, I boasted in my success to Jac. But somewhere in between the Justin Timberlake songs and the hum of the bicycle wheel, I began to feel very conflicted. Being competitive is one thing, but it was deeper than just wanting to win. It was wanting to beat someone who offended me by assuming they were better than me. In that quagmire laid all sorts of questions about myself.

I can't figure out if I am wrestling with gender roles, stereotypes, or prejudice, but all these scriptures are running through my mind as I think about the way I approach Life. Why do I feel the need to compete with others? What is the benefit of self-affirmation? What are the long-term effects of comparing myself with others? The answers are leading down roads of psychological destruction. I am complete in Christ (Col. 2:10). I am part of something bigger than me (1 Cor. 12:12). God has a plan for my life despite the color of my skin, preordained gender, or class status (Jer. 29:11, Jer. 1:5, 1 Cor. 1:27-29) . Worst of all, if I'm not careful and believe my inner monologue, I might end up like Ivan Drago with a condescending spirit and bad haircut.

It's not about measuring up to others. It's about being who God has called you to be.

It's not about self-confidence and affirmation. It's about being confident in the Lord and believing He has already affirmed us.

It's not about assuming a lesser role due to gender, class, or ability. It's about being embracing the journey we are on in this specific season, at this specific time.

What's your journey? What are your struggles? What are you wrestling with today?

laundry, lust, and life...

Ever heard the expression, a little leaven leavens the lump? Or what about, a rotten apple rots the bunch? How about my new favorite, one red sock will ruin your whites? If you haven't heard the last one it's because I made it up. Today. Yes friends, I now have pink socks and tees that were once bright white. [Note to self: Self, marry someone who does laundry well!]

On Tuesday night at our Se7en Deadly Sins study, I discussed lust and the effects it has on ones life (read James 1:15). But lust isn't a flashing neon sign or a deep pit with orange safety cones around it. No, lust is a cute little red sock that mysteriously ends up in my piles of whites on their way to get laundered. Stealthily, surreptitiously, sneakily, it waits until the water is hot enough then leaves stains which indicate its presence. Sure, whites can be bleached again... and again... and again to try to get back to their original state of being, but the damage is done and important things are ruined.

Life is WAY more important that a pile of white laundry. The stains left by lust are seemingly irreparable, ruinous of all things pure and stainless. But Isaiah 1:18 says this:

"Come let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they

will be white as snow; though they are red like crimson they will be like wool."

Wool? Did someone say wool? Great! Because my favorite white wool socks are now pink?! But more importantly than my heinous wool socks is the fact that the Lord can wash me new. The scarlet letter that has marked my chest is washed whiter than snow. Can I get an amen and hallelujah for the saving power of Clorox bleach and the blood of Jesus? Both are in the business of making things white again.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to salvaging my laundry and dealing with Life :) If you want to hear the message on lust in it's entirety, click here and download the vodcast through a one-time subscription!

*Edit to post: The vodcast will be ready at 3:00PM PST.