Wednesday, May 20, 2009

fathered by god...

I've read his books, his reviews, his critiques. Trying to come to a conclusion about John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart Ministries has been difficult amidst the swarms of praise and cacophony of criticism. However, last night I was invited to hear him speak on an issue I care about: men.

Sitting in an auditorium with about 2,500 other people yet still feeling like I'm in an intimate conversation with someone 100 feet away from me is quite a feat; yet John pulled it off quite well (yes, John and I are on a first name basis now). Humble, articulate, and personable, we spent two hours discussing the journey of man and the role of father. I took five pages of notes and felt like I could have taken more. 

Driving down Culver Avenue in Irvine I reflected on my own relationship with my earthly father. He lacked everything a child would need for a healthy, successful life, but by the grace of God, he is proverbially moving mountains, bringing the spiritually dead back to life, causing blind to see, and loving our family in spite of our dysfunctions. He loves in all Love Languages so I guess that would make him fluent in the language of love. Gifts to let me know he cares from places unknown, Words of Affirmation to let me know I'm beautiful when some other man doesn't, Quality Time to pour into me like he poured into our plastic tea cups on our linoleum floor, Physical Touch to magically heal my bumps and bruises with warm kisses of care, and Acts of Service to help me do this things called Life.  

Papi,

No words in any language could express to you the debt I owe you. You have given me more than life... you have given me love. When I felt unlovable, you found me worthy. When I felt unintelligent, you found me to be brilliant. When I felt ugly, you said I was beautiful. When I felt rejected, you accepted me with all my imperfections. As your child, I am who I am today because of you and the sacrifices you made.

The past two years have been so trying on our whole family, but I see you for the man you once were... and even better, the man you are becoming. You may not realize this, but I know GOD because of YOU. I have never felt the tangible hand of God, voice of God, or compassion of God, but I have felt you. Thank you for being my first encounter with my Redeemer.

I owe you a debt I could never pay,
Bianca

16 comments:

Diandra Ann said...

beautiful.

Brianna said...

this made me tear up.

your dad is the best. truly.

Tira J said...

So beautiful!

Julieann said...

Awwwwwwwwwww another fan of Love Languages!!! Isn't it the BEST book EVER???

His Jewel said...

Your feelings are so obvious towards your dad and it's precious! You are two peas in a pod...a pod I love! ;) Love is so evident in both of you! What you wrote brought me to tears! So beautiful!

Julie

Anonymous said...

beautiful and loving. I love reading a little piece of your heart. Stay True!

Love,
amber

Anonymous said...

beautiful and loving. I love reading a little piece of your heart. Stay True!

Love,
amber

Quirky Christa said...

Sniffle, sniffle :)

Girl4Gsus "Liz" said...

Bianca, You moved me to tears! I wish I would have had a relationship with my father, like this, but it just wasn't so. I cannot bring back the past, but I long to strive towards my future with my Heavenly Father and I know that He loves me unconditionally. I can't see Him, but I live by Faith knowning that one day, He will hold me in His loving arms!
Love You Girl!

Anonymous said...

I’m tearing. This is beautiful. I’m so blessed to be sitting under the teaching of a man anointed and called by God. Thank you.

1717

Anonymous said...

I think you and your dad are very similar. You speak in ways that connect to people's heart. I can't wait for your summer series. I found a message you taught at APU on youtube and I can't wait to see you live!

God bless!!!

Nina49a said...

precious.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! I am still amazed how God speaks through you!! It's just so great

Adrienne

unveiled said...

I would say Bianca, that you don't need to come to a conclusion about your buddy John, when what he says connects you to your savior, the Spirit is there. Every man will have something we must question in some of his teaching, and everyone filled with the Spirit will speak to the Spirit in us. Sounds like His words stirred your spirit into beautiful praise.
Love,Marnee

cassandra m said...

This made me miss my Dad, but made me smile knowing that I have such amazing memories. You Dad sounds wonderful too. I know he is very PROUD of YOU!

Anonymous said...

pitter patter!! LOVE this post!!! Beautifully written!

-j

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