Monday, May 18, 2009

whirlwind...

Whirlwind. You're like a whirlwind, he said.

In my mind I created grandiose images of majesty and strength and awesomeness. But, alas, he was not referencing those adjectives. It's like you come onto the scene and everything that was in place gets tossed around or changed. He didn't tell me these things to offend me; he told me those things because it's true. 

I don't know how to sit still. I'm [slightly] neurotic and [slightly] obsessive complusive and [slightly] in need of control. When I think things need to be moved, I move them. When I think things need to change, I change them. When I think things are more fun to be unplanned, I plan to be unplanned. I color-code my notes, my wardrobe, and my office desk caddy. I, I, I. I'm in control, I think to myself as I tap my fingers together and laugh wildly. Then the curtain drops, the backdrop is taken down, the mask is removed and I realize that I'm just acting like I control things. 

Psalms 46:10 Be still and know that I am God...
This verse is the climax of Psalms 46, but it has less to do with meditation and more to do with faith in God. The Hebrew verb to be still (rapha) is commonly translated to let go or cause yourself to become weak. The Hebrew word for know is yada, which means to know by seeing. The BIV translation (Bianca Internation Version) would translate it: Throw in the towel! How far are we willing to let go and let God? We need to let go to see the saving power of God in our lives.

When we confess the truth about who we really are--weak, ineffectual, and feeble--we can surrender our desire to control outcomes and entrust the care of the world to God. Even though our present world may be shaken (46:2), with nations raging and men plotting against us (46:6), we should not fear because God is ever-present help in time of trouble (46:1).

Do not fear, God is in control. Just let go and let God take over. Be still and know...

19 comments:

Diandra Ann said...

wow. so i really needed that today. thanks b.

cassandra m said...

WOW...WOW...WOW! You are an AMAZING writer. I knew Jasmine was good, guess you both got that talent. She brags on you and with good reason. Your WORDS TOUCH...TOUCH the SOUL! This post is honest and inspiring. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really needed to hear these words today as a reminder. God Bless you with this endeavor in your life. I know your NEW WEBSITE (which rocks) and this BLOG will reach alot of people and touch alot of hearts. God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stating the truth that it's all about faith in God! Faith in God that only HE can sustain and grow! I too struggle with the "I" syndrome..and then I'm quickly reminded...who am I but dust?? I am not the great I AM. It's not about me it's about Him!!! God help us all to cry out as Isaiah did...Woe is me...

Great post...keep up coming!!!!

-j

Melinda said...

Bianca, Do you buy all the books you read? Does the church reimburse you for any purchases? Or do you use the library? I love to read, but it is SO EXPENSIVE to constantly buy books. Of course, the public library doesn't always have everything I want (when I want it). Any tips for where you shop?

And, from one type A personality to another, letting go and realizing that I CAN'T do it is so humbling. Totally kills the ego. I love Rich Mullins song, We are not as strong as we think we are, because it's so TRUE. I am NOTHING without Christ and only when I am relying on the power of the Spirit are the things I do worth anything!

Anonymous said...

Totally blessed to read this after lunch break at work. I love your writing. The Lord is inspiring people to action though you...and I'm one of them.

p.s. that's pretty cool that you went to LMHS! small world, huh?!

Looking forward to reading more.

love,
Amber

His Jewel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
His Jewel said...

Great question Melinda, I was wondering the very same thing...Does B buy all of her books? I know I do, which leads to overflowing bookshelves. I love books! I just need more discipline to find time to sit down and read them (B if you don't know how to sit still, how do you read?)! LOL Melinda Amazon is pretty cheap. I usually wait until I want or need 3 books and then I order and if spend $25 (I think that's the amount) you get free shipping.

Thanks for the post. That's me!!!

MPH Photography said...

First of all congrats on the blog and site, it looks great, and I pray that God blesses you and the path you are on, and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

I see that you are just as eloquent as your sister and just as pretty too. Like her, you touched a part of my soul. Being children of God, when I hear another child of His speak His word it not only touches me but brings me closer to Him as I see His awesomeness in someone else and it makes me want to be more like Him. I read your blog and you have reminded me to do all things in LOVE for God is LOVE and you are so right, and then you reminded me to let go and let God, words of wisdom, I'll definitely be coming back to fill my cup as I want it to be continously running over. You and your sister are both inspirations. Thank you!

Bianca said...

Oh my goodness, Cassandra! I [heart] your dog!!! I want to squeeze it :)

Melinda and Jewel, I have more books than I can physically read :( I use Amazon for used books and save a grip of money! I read at the gym, in doctor's offices, and in the few minutes I have during my lunch break. But I don't read enough. I think it sounds like I read more than I do. Honest.

Melinda, see if you can butter up Earl and the guys to come and do worship for one of the nights that I'm going to teach for the study!!! It's going to be late June and into July :)

frannie said...

This is great! Totally what I needed to read and reflect on. U are such an inspiration. I adore u already!!

Julieann said...

I'm not the only one that color codes things? At work we have the patient assignement board, ya know the big white board like you see on ER, that has patients rooms, assigned physicians etc. I constantly re write that board, color code the information and make sure the printing and letters are symmetrical. It's undeniable that I have OCD.

I believe this attempt to control simply comes from the fear of the unknown, the relinquising of one self comlpetely to HIM!

Quick story..but a one with an happy ending.

Erik and I take 3 vacations every year. One camping trip, one weekend trip and then a two week trip (usually somewhere tropical). Last year we went to Hawaii for the 4th time. We were going to Maui and Kauai both of these islands are our favorites. Having not been to either island in a while we decided to MAXIMIZE our oppurtunites.

Several cups of coffee and a few hours later we left the bookstore with, two guide books in hand. Maui Revealed and The Ultimante Kauai Guidebook. I spent the next five weeks prior to our departure formulating iteneraries, printing out maps, pricing out adventures, and planning economically fuel efficent tours, trips and adventures around the island. I do believe that I would have impressed FRANKLIN COVEY. I had done this same type of planning for our honey moon.

When we arrived on the island the first thing that happened was I realized that I had left EVERYTHING including our itenerary and guide books AT HOME!!! I broke out into a cold sweat, had a minor panic attack in the airport that refused to be soothed by my husbands loving embrace and eventually his poking fun at my psychological disruption.

Day one into the trip i tried to remember what was planned but it just became so stressful that my husband and I wound up on the beach, eating shaved ice and getting nice and tan. Sitting under the sun, feeling the cooling breezes embrace our faces, I was over run by a sense of calm. All of the anxiety was replaced with an instant moment of peace. Erik looked at me and said "wow you just seemed to relax, almost as if you let go of everything, your entire posture changed." I looked at him puzzled, and responded, "yea i felt that too." He smiled, a usual sly Erik smile and said..."I think God's hand just swept over you and his heart just warmed you, look around...he is here, and he is in control." Then Erik decided it would be a grand joke to tell me that God told him to hide the guidebooks from me. Realizing the danger of what he had just said, he retracted his statement and replaced it with, "God is God and You are not, nor am I or nor is some silly guidebook."

Thanks to my husbands reminders (as always)the remainder of our trip was the most fantastic vacation I have ever been on and I vowed that I would never purchase another guide book or print another map again!

When we returned home it was Saturday so we were able to make the Saturday night service at church. Our Pastor spent some great time talking about The Bible as being The GUIDE TO LIFE. Coincidence? I think not.

If we think God isn't listening, watching, and planning everything, we are in for a suprise. :D

Melinda said...

Bianca, I think they'll be in town. Email Earl (earl@shachah.com) and let him know the dates. I'm not always aware of what's in the works so something may not be on my calendar. Hopefully I can make it up one day for the study too, especially if they are doing worship!

Thanks for the tips. I used Amazon/Half.com for school books, but not always for my fun reading.

YooooAdrienne! said...

Wow....this is how I feel all the time. I try to keep the cards in my order and I forget that God is in control. He has my plans in order! Thanks for reminding me!! (Or rather praise God for speaking to me through you)

His Jewel said...

Cool!! I LOVE Shachah's worship!! Whooo Hooo! Can't wait for the study!

I price books on Christianbooks.com, Family Christian, etc. and Amazon always beats them! I've never bought used though. I need to start doing that.

Hi! I'm Kirsten... said...

SOOOO hard!! But so so so true!

ammartinez7 said...

Great post! So true too.

Christy Lynn said...

My Heart is so full! One of the main reasons I was drawn to your sister's blog was that she wasn't afraid to post about her faith. And here you come! In a time when we as believers are considered politically incorrect :)!

Thank you for opening yourself to the world and sharing your love for God and His Son Jesus! Thank you for posting such soul touching words! You may never know who all you reach for God, but He Will!!

Raul Hernandez said...

B,

What a great post. Good words to live by when life seems to be going out of control.

Remembering that our lives are in the palms of an AMAZING God will bring comfort and order to any situation.

You a whirlwind??? Nah, not buying it!!!

shara lana said...

The most growth I have made as a Christian has been my times of being still with God. He has had to bring me to a stop before and when he did, I listened. Amazing what he will do when we are willing. He just wants US. Not what is left, but the best parts and all of us. When you are there, He provides a Super Joy unlike any ever known. KEEP YOUR SHINE ON!!!!

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