Monday, May 18, 2009
Whirlwind. You're like a whirlwind, he said.
In my mind I created grandiose images of majesty and strength and awesomeness. But, alas, he was not referencing those adjectives. It's like you come onto the scene and everything that was in place gets tossed around or changed. He didn't tell me these things to offend me; he told me those things because it's true.
I don't know how to sit still. I'm [slightly] neurotic and [slightly] obsessive complusive and [slightly] in need of control. When I think things need to be moved, I move them. When I think things need to change, I change them. When I think things are more fun to be unplanned, I plan to be unplanned. I color-code my notes, my wardrobe, and my office desk caddy. I, I, I. I'm in control, I think to myself as I tap my fingers together and laugh wildly. Then the curtain drops, the backdrop is taken down, the mask is removed and I realize that I'm just acting like I control things.
Psalms 46:10 Be still and know that I am God...
This verse is the climax of Psalms 46, but it has less to do with meditation and more to do with faith in God. The Hebrew verb to be still (rapha) is commonly translated to let go or cause yourself to become weak. The Hebrew word for know is yada, which means to know by seeing. The BIV translation (Bianca Internation Version) would translate it: Throw in the towel! How far are we willing to let go and let God? We need to let go to see the saving power of God in our lives.
When we confess the truth about who we really are--weak, ineffectual, and feeble--we can surrender our desire to control outcomes and entrust the care of the world to God. Even though our present world may be shaken (46:2), with nations raging and men plotting against us (46:6), we should not fear because God is ever-present help in time of trouble (46:1).
Do not fear, God is in control. Just let go and let God take over. Be still and know...