fathered by god...

I've read his books, his reviews, his critiques. Trying to come to a conclusion about John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart Ministries has been difficult amidst the swarms of praise and cacophony of criticism. However, last night I was invited to hear him speak on an issue I care about: men.

Sitting in an auditorium with about 2,500 other people yet still feeling like I'm in an intimate conversation with someone 100 feet away from me is quite a feat; yet John pulled it off quite well (yes, John and I are on a first name basis now). Humble, articulate, and personable, we spent two hours discussing the journey of man and the role of father. I took five pages of notes and felt like I could have taken more. 

Driving down Culver Avenue in Irvine I reflected on my own relationship with my earthly father. He lacked everything a child would need for a healthy, successful life, but by the grace of God, he is proverbially moving mountains, bringing the spiritually dead back to life, causing blind to see, and loving our family in spite of our dysfunctions. He loves in all Love Languages so I guess that would make him fluent in the language of love. Gifts to let me know he cares from places unknown, Words of Affirmation to let me know I'm beautiful when some other man doesn't, Quality Time to pour into me like he poured into our plastic tea cups on our linoleum floor, Physical Touch to magically heal my bumps and bruises with warm kisses of care, and Acts of Service to help me do this things called Life.  

Papi,

No words in any language could express to you the debt I owe you. You have given me more than life... you have given me love. When I felt unlovable, you found me worthy. When I felt unintelligent, you found me to be brilliant. When I felt ugly, you said I was beautiful. When I felt rejected, you accepted me with all my imperfections. As your child, I am who I am today because of you and the sacrifices you made.

The past two years have been so trying on our whole family, but I see you for the man you once were... and even better, the man you are becoming. You may not realize this, but I know GOD because of YOU. I have never felt the tangible hand of God, voice of God, or compassion of God, but I have felt you. Thank you for being my first encounter with my Redeemer.

I owe you a debt I could never pay,
Bianca