Monday, June 15, 2009

aloneness... [part 1]

The only thing more pathetic than a poorly dressed drag queen is a desperate woman. I laughed uncomfortably as the words poignantly rolled off my hair stylists lips. I laughed because it was funny. I laughed uncomfortably because it was true. 

It was never more apparent than at the gym this morning as I completed a two-person workout... by myself. I altered the routine so it wasn't too difficult to do the exercises sans a companion, but the ab routine was impossible to complete without a partner. The exercise required a partner to toss a weighted ball toward me as I lean back and toss it forward--but I didn't have a partner. Being the resourceful girl I am, I tucked my toes under a bar and tossed the ball against the wall... hard. In theory it was a great idea. In praxis, it nearly broke my nose. When the ball came flying back at my face I laughed as I thought of a poorly dressed drag queen and me, the desperate woman. 

I want to clarify that it wasn't a complaint about being alone in that moment, but more of an analysis of doing Life alone for that second. In Genesis 2 God affirms His creation with resounding praise, It is good. The sun, moon, stars were good. The lions, tigers, bears were good. The fleas, flies, ticks were good. However, after several days of creating the miraculous, He divinely pauses after the creation of Adam and notes, It is not good that man should be alone. 

So we must now ask this question, was this a qualitative or ethical statement? At first glance, I immediately slap the qualitative label on it and move on with Keeping Up With The Kardashians and counting the caloric value of a Boca burger. But at the root of this question, at the root of the design of man, at the root of our aloneness is the discovery that this is an ethical statement uttered by God Almighty. Why? Because aloneness is contrary to God's nature. 

Yesterday I learned through the Truth Project, that in all eternity there has never been aloneness. What does this mean? How does this effect me? Why is the statement an ethical one? Why did God even mention the state of aloneness? What if I don't get married?

On my drive home I started thinking about aloneness and what that word means. Everyone wants a Jerry McGuire You-Complete-Me moment, but the truth of the matter is a man is not going to complete you, you will probably still feel alone at some point in your marriage, and our completion will not be found when you change your last name on your driver's license. Before you think I'm a FemiNazi who doesn't shave my underarms, let me clarify my thoughts on tomorrow's entry. I hope you're laughing an uncomfortable laugh. Laughing because I'm funny and uncomfortably because what I'm saying is true.


Quirky Christa said...

Now I want to read tomorrow's post...patience is a virtue right?

Diandra Ann said...

Another great one B. And for the record... I'll go to the gym with you... first I have to get a membership... but I've been thinking about that anyway...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making this one of your entries. Yesterday's class happened to be one of the most thought provoking and emotional ones, in my opinion. I, too, considered that statement a qualitative one, but the support for why it was an ethical statement blew me away. It was a beautiful explanation but I'll let you continue your thoughts about it tomorrow! I pray that all are blessed by these entries! Love ya! Nay.

Kate said...

oh girl...i love reading your entries when they come across my screen! have you read the book, Crazy Love? Check it out! :)

Melinda said...

haha - I'm really laughing at your label: I'm not a FemiNazi.
Can't wait to see the completion of this thought.

Bianca said...

Quirky, how are baby names coming? I like Machiah! Post some cool pictures :)
D, my phone is officially dead and I have no way of communicating with you about tonight. Can you email me your phone number? Ugh. I hate AT&T.
Nay, wasn't last nights topic AWESOME?! It left me thinking more about relationships than the original topic?! SO good!
Kate, you're the third person to mention Francis Chan's book! I love three's so I'm going to take it as a sign that I'm suppose to read it.
Melinda, 1. I'm bummed Shachah isn't coming to the summer series. Dude, they've been to the last THREE!!! They're my OG worship leaders! 2. I'm glad you like my FemiNazi reference :)

Anonymous said...

I am laughing just by picturing u hitting yourself with the ball.. but i do want to know more about aloneness, why do we feel that way when we do have people around us. i though something was wron with me (maybe)... hope you gert ur baby's name soon... benji is cute and it begins with your same letter B. God Bless.

Kate said...

i's crazy to think that you could connect over something as crazy as internet world! :) anyways, we will have to do it in person one day! maybe lunch and i will treat you with Chan's book! :) Have a wonderful day!!

Anonymous said...

Bi I love you but I am so mean... I started laughing cuz I pictured the ball coming back at you and you getting so mad at the ball!!

cassandra m said...

I did laugh and smile at the same time. Your story was funny. I can't wait to read more tomorrow. I'm a single girl, so I am intrigued already. Your words are so truthful and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing of yourself.

Amanda said...

you're an amazing writer! I love this read!


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