Thursday, July 9, 2009

a plan for your life...

I drove to Twin Peaks, California knowing that it was going to be an exposé of my life. Proverbally stripped and naked in front of women my age, I knew I had to candidly share my lot in life. Not what I have overcome, conquered, or achieved; just me, slightly dazed and confused, but not alone. 

The small retreat was held in a large cabin full of 30 women excited to hear about reckless abandonment in life; letting go and letting God move. I was the evening speaker and I knew I had to put aside my facade of dutiful service unto the Lord and unmovable faith and just share what the Lord was doing. I paralleled the message to Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland as she falls down a dark, deep, never ending pit of black because in that moment, I felt like Alice. I knew at some point I was going to hit the bottom, but it was the in-between stage that was most frightening. The evening was amazing and I don't know if anyone else was blessed, but my socks were blown off at how God moved! 

The next morning before I left, one of the directors of the group reached into a gift bag and pulled out a tacky, fluorescent colored key chain. I hate key chains. They're tacky. But something about this key chain caught my attention. The large plastic covering had pink flowers and a yellow background. It screamed: Look at me! I'm tacky! I smiled as she handed it to me. B, I think the Lord wants me to give this to you. I'm obviously carnal because I said to myself, But the Lord knows I hate key chains. As I flipped it over Psalm 138:8 was printed in bubble letters:
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever--
do not abandon the works of your hands.

I knew that I was obedient to share what I believe the Lord had asked of me. This measily key chain was a reminder from the Lord that He hadn't abandoned me in the deep, dark, never ending pit. He was right beside me with a tacky, flourescent key chain letting me know that He has a plan for my life. 

Today is the two month anniversary of my blog and if I die today, I know that over 24,474 people have visited this site to read about my life and what the Lord continues to do in the lives of others. According to my stats, there are people checking in from all over the world like Australia (good day, mates!), England (cheerio!), Barcelona and Palma, Spain (hola amigos!), Germany (guten tag!), Vienna, Austria (um--guten tag?), Panama (ciao!), and yes, even the Ozarks (howdy, y'all!). If this was God's purpose in my life, I know that He has not abandoned me and I'm going to keep on, keeping on! 

Life is not easy, but God's burden is light. Sin is ugly, but God is beautiful. I am messed up, but God is perfect. I am sick, but God is the Master Physician. If all this ends today, know that God has not abandoned you, the work of His hands. If you walk according to His ways, He will fulfill His purpose in you. 


WrshpGrl12 said...

Happy Anniversary on your blog!! It really has been a blessing and so have your bible studies! Thank you for exposing yourself "In the name of Love!" and encouraging us all! Can't wait to meet up with you again!

"He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much......." Luke 16:10a

Kelly said...

hey congrats on your 2 month anniversary for your blog.. i just love reading it. it makes me smile. keep up the great work

god bless

Bianca said...

@anita: i'll be doing the desert women's conference in september!!! kobe's here we come ;)
@kelly: thanks for leaving such a sweet comment. comments reaffirm that there are people out there and not just random IP addresses from across the globe. thanks for the blog love :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary "in the name of LOVE"! You have been such a joyous tool of inspiration in my daily life!! Here's to several more anniversaries together! Cheers!!

To it's amazing author: I love you more than coke floats and red velvet cupcakes! My heart jumps with so much joy and praise to God for how He is using your life!


Anonymous said...

I was on the C&C retreat when you spoke. I LOVED the study and you were so raw that I felt like you really understood my own issues during that time in my life. Thank you for your honesty and openness in your shortcomings! I know that I am normal :)

Bridget said...

Bianca, I am so happy I found your blog! I love your writing and your passion for Christ! This is my new favorite read:) fyi:our company, my husband works at apu..(we service all the ponds and pools)small world

Anonymous said...

wow 2 Months.. and i feel like i know you like forever!! Congratulations and keep on doing the good work for us the Children of God and for those that may come to know him thanks to In the Name of Love. God Bless you Binca

Jasmine said...

You and your blog are still in the honeymoon stage....ahhh, how I adore puppy love! ;)
love you!!

Tira J said...

Happy Anniversary to your blog! What a great post!

Narrelle said...

Happy Anniversary! :)
Have been so inspired and encouraged by your blog, and your thoughts/teachings. On the days that I don't get to squeeze my own thinkings/meditations in you present me with some amazing, yet simple, truths of God to tide me over.
Oh, and us Aussies will have to teach you how to say G'day the proper way. lol

Lydia said...

I'm so thankful you decided to blog! You have been such an encouragement in the mere two months I've been reading it!

Kate said...

and you are loved! by me! yes, me... :)

jacquelinefigueroa said...

Girl, you are awesome. Congrats x100, your friendship, your class, your blog are a true blessing. We need to celebrate. How bout we eat, eat, and eat. Woohooo!!!!

Fat Girls fo life!!

Diandra Ann said...

AHHH! 2 months! It seems like only yesterday... :) So proud of you B! God is using you in HUGE ways!!! 24,000 people that God has touched because of your obedience! You are doing wonderful things! love you!

Brandi's Buzz said...

When I read your blog I always seem to read exactly what I need to be reassured of. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Happy Blog Anniversary! I must share that your love for Jesus and to know to know more about Him is inspiriting. I truly appreciated you and thank God for meeting you. I pray that you keep strong in fighting the good fight and the Lord continue to anoint you in blessing other women in search to know greater LOVE.

Much love and appreciation.

Anonymous said...

Wow...2 months?!
I've been so blessed.
Imagine, we've all been waiting for you!

Take care.

Nicole said...

AND you have been bloggin' up a storm! Keep it going...yay for 2 months! :)

christy said...

Hi Bianca,
U know this the third time i've tried to comment today and i keep getting interrupted:) I wanted to say I heard of your blog thru my sister(who is an aspiring photographer here in SD, CA and follows jasmone's blog) and I have been hooked since the first day i read it. I love it that u r real, not condemning, not judgemental, and uber encouraging. I know when i am feeling crappy, i can read your blog and feel inspired and supported:) God's purpose for my life is a constant struggle w/ me. I love Jesus...i know He has a plan...but satan always likes to get in my ear and tell me lies and make me doubt myself...thank yoou for sharing that you also sometimes have those, aperson who loves God and does so much...

btw, happy anniversary! you write like a veteran, it's hard to believe it only been 2 months!!!

Thanks again for loving God and doing His work...God bless!

Max said...

I just want to say that this is amazing. I don't know you, I missed some of the points you mentioned in the article; but still, per one or two ideas you mentioned, I know that indeed God's got a purpose for you in it's been accomplished. Thanks God for your life, God bless you.
Your post shed some light on something I needed to know from God.

Annie said...

Oh my gosh... I'm "Annie in Wonderland" and the seemingly never ending dark, deep pit of black. You've hit the nail on the head. This is how I feel most days.

But how refreshing to be reminded that it's merely the "shadow of death" that is menacing and that God, is in fact, there with me helping me get to the other side of the valley.

THANK YOU so much for getting up every day and creating posts like this one... You are truly a blessing.


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