Thursday, July 9, 2009
I drove to Twin Peaks, California knowing that it was going to be an exposé of my life. Proverbally stripped and naked in front of women my age, I knew I had to candidly share my lot in life. Not what I have overcome, conquered, or achieved; just me, slightly dazed and confused, but not alone.
The small retreat was held in a large cabin full of 30 women excited to hear about reckless abandonment in life; letting go and letting God move. I was the evening speaker and I knew I had to put aside my facade of dutiful service unto the Lord and unmovable faith and just share what the Lord was doing. I paralleled the message to Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland as she falls down a dark, deep, never ending pit of black because in that moment, I felt like Alice. I knew at some point I was going to hit the bottom, but it was the in-between stage that was most frightening. The evening was amazing and I don't know if anyone else was blessed, but my socks were blown off at how God moved!
The next morning before I left, one of the directors of the group reached into a gift bag and pulled out a tacky, fluorescent colored key chain. I hate key chains. They're tacky. But something about this key chain caught my attention. The large plastic covering had pink flowers and a yellow background. It screamed: Look at me! I'm tacky! I smiled as she handed it to me. B, I think the Lord wants me to give this to you. I'm obviously carnal because I said to myself, But the Lord knows I hate key chains. As I flipped it over Psalm 138:8 was printed in bubble letters:
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever--
do not abandon the works of your hands.
I knew that I was obedient to share what I believe the Lord had asked of me. This measily key chain was a reminder from the Lord that He hadn't abandoned me in the deep, dark, never ending pit. He was right beside me with a tacky, flourescent key chain letting me know that He has a plan for my life.
Today is the two month anniversary of my blog and if I die today, I know that over 24,474 people have visited this site to read about my life and what the Lord continues to do in the lives of others. According to my stats, there are people checking in from all over the world like Australia (good day, mates!), England (cheerio!), Barcelona and Palma, Spain (hola amigos!), Germany (guten tag!), Vienna, Austria (um--guten tag?), Panama (ciao!), and yes, even the Ozarks (howdy, y'all!). If this was God's purpose in my life, I know that He has not abandoned me and I'm going to keep on, keeping on!
Life is not easy, but God's burden is light. Sin is ugly, but God is beautiful. I am messed up, but God is perfect. I am sick, but God is the Master Physician. If all this ends today, know that God has not abandoned you, the work of His hands. If you walk according to His ways, He will fulfill His purpose in you.