Thursday, October 8, 2009

right relationships...

Friends and peers are vital in doing Life. Not all my friends are Christian. Not all my Christian friends share my personal convictions. Not all my Christian friends have the liberties I do. But I love the diversity! I love being challenged on certain topics and encouraged on others. What I've had to wrestle with is trying to find people who are like-minded and spiritually on par with where I am so I can go to them for prayer, I can open my heart to, I can share private issues with them and receive Godly counsel. But I've had to seek those relationships out. They didn't come to me.

I hear so many church people say they can't find accountability or a true friend to open up with. But do they think a stork is going to drop a large white bundle on your doorstep and you'll unwrap a best friend? No. Seek out right relationships. Put yourself out there. Make the first move. It's hard but the payoff is worth it. I know--I did it. I literally went up to two girls and asked them to be my friends. Seriously. I did. I told them to keep me accountable and gave them the right to speak into my life and ask hard questions.

Proverbs 27:6 Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of an enemy. These girls (and several others) have hurt me with the truth. But I am a better person because of it. I've intentionally connected myself to women who are connected to the Lord. If they weren't connected to the Redeemer, I will probably would become disconnected too. For bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor. 3:13). I'm not saying not to hang out with non-Christians. I'm saying to be careful with who you open yourself up to for wisdom and counsel.

Thanks to Connie from Philly who asked such a great question for last week's vlog (video blog), I've been able to take inventory of those who I love and appreciate in my life. Tomorrow's vlog will be discussing tattoos :) I'm getting excited... rawr!

13 comments:

Michelle said...

It's so hard to do... but SO worthwhile. I've got a few of those relationships myself and I just wrote one of them an email a couple days ago basically saying a lot of the same the same things you did in this email and thanking her for her friendship. Those people are so valuable! :)

Diandra said...

Yay for friends! I'm glad I have you! See you for lunch... I'm excited!

Anonymous said...

Great post BB!! However, if you're talking about me...I don't think I've done the greatest job with this...for that I'm sorry!

-j

Melinda said...

It's funny. Since moving to California 4.5 years ago I have gone up to a number of girls and said "Please be my friend. I want to develop a friendship with you." And I got "Oh yeah, for sure." And after calling/texting/emailing etc and not getting an answer back, I gave up. I have found a few treasures in the rough, but for the most part, making friends and creating an accountability group in california is down right difficult. and discouraging. and disheartening. Two summers ago I was ready to tell my husband we would have to move back home to Miami - I couldn't handle the loneliness anymore. Now, the Lord spoke to me that summer and told me to press on and since then I made a few friends - I mean REAL friends, who care enough to seek you out so you aren't doing all the work. But I had been here for over two year with NO real friends. And I TRIED! But, God is good and He speaks and works and breaks us down so He can use us. It's not always as easy as just saying "Please be my friend" if no one else is willing to make it work.

christy said...

you know i have had the same best friends since about the 8th grade...soem even before that and its amazing how much we all connect...we've been through ups and downs...taken wrong turns in life..but I am happy to say we all have come back to Jesus and strive to women with hearts for God.

Although i have my same friends, i feel like it's sometimes keeps me from finding new friends...not because of them but because i feel safe with them...they know me in and out...making new friends seems intimidating, especially if they are going to be accountability friends...i do hope to make some more "real " friends...but it will probably take time...

Melinda- i feel you...although i was lucky to be from san diego and my friends and family are here, it is hard to make friends in Cali...I lived in Texas for a little while and everyone was so warm and friendly, so when I came back to Cali, i thought people were so cold...but you did good and hung in there:) Very admireable...

His Jewel said...

Yep, I agree. Good Friends are hard to come by. It's like panning for gold in CA. We live in a Me First society, so it's hard to find someone willing to put in the effort, keep their word and compromise. I'm all for it, but I can't do all the work for the both of us. I have a few treasures the Lord has blessed me with and that's all I need. I'll never turn down a kind heart, there is always room for another friend, but I can't say I'm looking...too much work for the heartache.

Anonymous said...

Great post and I can testify that finding friends is hard work but like you said - it's worth it.

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melissa said...

Speaking of friends...well not really speaking of friends...but I'll jump in here!

I have followed your blog for quite awhile...found it through your sister who's "voice" and photography I adore...but have always found you to be inspiring and at many times, reading your blog was just what i needed to "hear".

Anyway - not too long ago, I started to make a few connections and clicked around to see if my gut feelings were true....and once I asked my mom, I discovered they were!

I grew up going to Raul Ries' church in West Covina. As a matter of fact, I accepted the Lord there in my first grade classroom. I always remember my mom talking about "Millie and her darling twin girls". I remember meeting you both back then in elementary school...in passing...but I suppose I have a good memory because it somehow stuck! Funny how that whole 6 degrees of separation kinda works!

Anyway - thank you for sharing your heart. It is a blessing and your joy and love for Christ just jumps right out of this computer screen.

And speaking of friends...I will comment that I believe God brings people in and out of your life at different seasons...to be that beacon of hope...or shoulder to cry on...or listening heart...I have a few close girlfriends who know my heart, my struggles, my dreams, but many have come and gone and yet, I am equally thankful for those treasures...

Bianca said...

Jewels and Melinda, I hate to agree but it's true. I've encountered some of the same things. But I'm sure you can attest that when we knock, God answers the door :)

J, yes, you've been a constant encouragement... even through your comments on the blog. No matter what I know you will always shower me with love. Even when I suck.

Melissa, what a small world! Wow. It's come full circle. Thanks for visiting the blog!

Jasmine said...

If I ask you to be my friend, will you? ;)
If you do, I promise endless meals at PF Chang's, overpriced haircuts, and a white fluffy dog to cuddle with! ;)

juniorj said...

you're so right about having right relationships. a matter of fact, I think I'm going to post an old blog about my groomsmen at my wedding, thanks.

Hilda Q said...

I TOTALLY LOVE THIS POST!

Anonymous said...

Can i still Jasmine friendship from you, she got me at PJ Chang's.. LOL. have a nice weekend.

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