Wednesday, November 18, 2009

100 word wedneday: what would you say...

I knew her.
Her childish face was tear-stained and swollen.
A warm embrace caused her body to collapse in my arms.
Through the sobs she wailed, My baby! My baby! I killed my baby…

She swore she’d never do it.
But family disdain was too much.
Whore. Slut. Irresponsible. Unlovable.
You’re a child who took the life of another child, they exclaimed.

I cried because she cried.
Nightmares. Suicidal thoughts. Isolation. Guilt.
I don’t deserve to live. I just want to die. God hates me.

Heartbroken at wordless, I asked for God to give something to say.
But how would you respond? What would you say?

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

what did you say????

Marisa said...

"my grace is sufficient for you".

because that is what God told me when i was freaking out over a consequence of my own sin.

Melinda said...

Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. (Lam 3:22-23,32)

His grace is sufficient. His forgiveness covers all our sins.

To be completely honest, I would have a moment of anger, but her brokenness reveals a heart that is repentant. It would be time for consolation and restoration. My squishy heart would break with her.

Cindy A. said...

I don't know.

Diandra Ann said...

I've been in this spot. It's so hard to have words.

renay. said...

B, heavy post today! I have been through this before too and I'm not sure now what I said. But like Melinda (and thank you for your honesty Melinda!) I was a bit angry at first but when they are torn apart and broken, what can you do but hold, forgive, and cry with them.

christy said...

marisa and melinda...i love your comments, beautiful...

sometimes even that is hard to comprhend..u think, "man i screwed up...God please forgive me"...in my mind I know God forgives me...and that His grace is suffiecient....but how do you make that guilt, regret, and self-hate go away?

Anonymous said...

Heavy duty...this one hits close to home....I don't really even to what to comment or if I should comment.
Ashamedly but Forgiven, I am "her". Through the power of God's grace, many years later, I was able to recognize His grace for me...and yes, receive that His grace IS sufficient.

What I would do...I would grieve (because that is what she is doing) with her. Upon allowing her to grieve I would remind her that God is not a God of hate...He is a God of love...so much love that He took this very act of sin to the cross with him.

Sometimes words are insufficent and even damaging...BB, you did, in my opinion the best thing...called out to the Father and mourned with her.

Tough one.

-j

amanda said...

Hello Bianca,
I am new to your blog and I enjoy it very much so. I will be keeping you in my prayers as you are out and able to minister to so many. 

On a heavier note, even reading today’s blog breaks my heart. But for the grace of God goes I. I would hold her and grieve with her. Share the grace and love of Jesus Christ with her. I would ask for wisdom and discernment from the Lord to minister to the girl, but sitting in the still and silence, just quietly praying for her and the opportunity to truly share God’s truths to her. Really, I would be upset if she knew better but my heart would more sorry, especially because the consequences that she will have to deal with. Thanks and praise be to the Lord because our Lord is a Mighty Restorer.

Bianca said...

Wow. Totally overwhelmed by your honesty.

@amanda: welcome to the blog! Thanks for your support and love.

To answer @anonymous, I sat with her and let her pour everything out. Every. Last. Tear. I began to speak scripture over her because it was the only thing I knew how to do. The Lord totally gave me a peace to share THOUGH I have no experience in this area.

I was able to connect her with a mentor of mine who has experience with in this area and also connected her to our post-abortive ministry at church. We just connected the other day and she's holding up. But keep her in your prayers--she's still a child.

christy said...

J-

would love to ask u a question...don't know how to respond to your post since it is anonymous....is there a chance we can connect somehow thru email?

melissa said...

Oh how my heart breaks, because there are so many women who go through with this and yet isolate themselves because of their own guilt and shame. Praise God that this girl, no matter how young, had the wisdom to reach out to a sister in the Lord. I think, in all honesty, the first thing I would do is look this girl straight in the eye and tell her I love her. I have been on the other side...my own sin exposed...sitting there broken and confused...saying those same words, i never would never do this....alone in my own anguish...and those three words - "I love you" were so powerful to me. Prior to my own "prodigal wife moment(s)", I was judgemental and harsh, and after falling and feeling the grace and mercy of God's outstretched arm, I had a compassion, a far greater compassion than ever before, for the sinner. I've been there, scared, humiliated, unworthy. So I would just love her...

I know it will take time for the guilt to go away...but through the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ, we can be restored...when Jesus said, "it is finished" he meant it with all his might. Many times he says our sins are forgiven, "once for all" Praise God our sins are nailed to the cross and when we ask for forgiveness...in an INSTANT we are indeed forgiven and made white as snow. While our feelings, emotions and even the enemy will tell us we are NOT forgiven, God's word and promises are true. He casts our sin from the east to the west and remembers them no more...he asks US to the do same...to remember our forgiven sin no more, so that we can have a clearer vision to see the GOOD work that He will now do...

"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19

God WILL use this time in your friends life to draw her closer to Him, for Him to receive the glory and ultimately for HER to be a vessel of honor and used by Him...and THAT is the amazing God that we serve. It blows me away....

Jen said...

I would hold her, stroke her hair and call her all the names that are truth from God, and not lies from satan...

Precious Sweetheart... child of God... redeemed... forgiven... apple of His eye... dearly beloved.

Sometimes, just being there is enough. Knowing they won't be judged, but instead loved can be the most healing thing.

Anonymous said...

i think u said enough by your embrace and listening ear and most importantly your prayers and friendship. love u bi :)

c.cho said...

thanks for posting your daily thoughts! i had a question about the format of your blogger. mine is all scrunched in the middle, and i was wondering how you got yours to spread all out like that?

-Christina

http://thanksfor365.blogspot.com/

Tara Harman said...

wow... what a tough situation, but what a blessing to have the opportunity to minister to her in her brokenness. I would probably just start praying and ask the Holy Spirit to guide my words... and I would tell her that God has already paid for her sin on the cross and that He remembers it no more. He sees her as holy and without spot or blemish. I would assure her that His love for her is not based on her actions, but it is a perfect love that has no conditions... that He loves her because He is so good... not because she is good. It is what makes Him so unfathomable... that He would love such wretches, and save them and make them glorious.

Anonymous said...

@Christy - Hello! My email address is jngarces@apu.edu :)

-j

MamaKas said...

I like Jen's answer. Truth sets us free indeed.

Bianca you wrote, "The Lord totally gave me a peace to share THOUGH I have no experience in this area."

That is what's so amazing about the Holy Spirit huh?! He's a comforter and even when we don't really know what to do or say, He works it out. This was encouraging, thank you!

Bridget said...

I've been there giving support. Hurts so bad to see a young girl hurt after an abortion. It's true his grace is sufficient! He loves her so much!

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