Thursday, November 12, 2009
Reason #342,937,140 why I'll be a bad parent:
I never thought I'd be that pet owner. You know, those people who are weirdly in love with their pets. For instance, one of my best friends in high school, Jennie, had a pair of annoying poodles who she was enamored with. (Sorry Jen--I can still hear Misty and Hersey barking in my nightmares!) She let them lick her face, sleep with her, and yes, rule the house. One Christmas she went to PetSmart and actually posed with her dogs and passed out the pictures to her friends as gifts. If I was truly mean, I'd scan the picture and post it here but she'd kill me so I won't--but it would be hilarious.
Last night at dinner we somehow ended up talking about pets. I immediately pulled out my phone and started gawking about how amazingly adorable my pets are while scrolling through pictures of them (yes, pictures as in plural). I was waiting for them to turn a light shade of green because I seriously have the most adorable dogs in the whole wide world. No, the universe. No, the Milky Way!
But they didn't. In fact, they politely smiled and continued on with conversation. Oh wait, I thought to myself, maybe that's a bad picture. They have to see this one! But, no, they weren't filled with envy as I showed them pictures. I put my phone away and was slightly bruised that they couldn't see that I had the most gorgeous children in God's great universe.
Then it hit me. I'm going to be that parent. You know, those people who are weirdly in love with their children and think they're brilliant, well behaved, and beautiful. I'm going to pull out my phone and scroll through a million images that only a mother can love. So, dear Internet, when I send you a picture with my children at PetSmart in front of a Christmas tree backdrop, you better love it! In fact, you better tell me that my children are the most gorgeous creations in God's great universe. Because really, they will be!