Tuesday, November 3, 2009

fish and bicycles...

In the 70s a feminist by the name of Irina Dunn coined the ever-popular phrase, A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. If what she said was true, then call me Nemo and hand me a Schwinn, baby! This fish needs a bicycle.

She would never come to know how her graffiti mark on a restroom wall would impact much of the Feminist movement even today. She died alone and divorced in her Australian apartment. I often wonder if she surrounded herself with books at night to keep her warm--then laugh because so do I.

With that being said, Marcus Buckingham's book is rocking my world. I am learning so much and I barely started chapter two?! One point has been ringing in my ears for the last hour: Since the feminist revolution, women's satisfaction in life has decreased steadily every year. What's the correlation? I'm sure Michael will address this coming chapters but my own assertions lead me to Genesis 2 (yes, I'm a bible nerd).

God knew that Adam needed a mate suitable for him (v18) and it definitely wasn't an animal (v20). Biblical narrative suggests that Eve was physically taken from Adam's side, but who knew how long that might have taken?! Donald Miller noted in his lecture* that it probably took roughly ten years. I don't know about you but after years of naming animals, I'd sing out some poetry too if I saw someone made from me, butt-naked and unashamed!

So maybe, just maybe, fish were meant to ride bicycles. Okay, okay, maybe the analogy doesn't work, but is there a correlation between feminist ideology and unhappiness in life?

Totally curious and open to opinions,
The Man Lover

*Million Miles book tour (Los Angeles, CA)

23 comments:

christy said...

hmmmm...well, i beleieve our happiness comes from God or at least it's the result of having a relationship with Him...i also think that a lot of the feminist values/views don't agree with God's values/views...sooo if your relationship is not right with God then your happiness level might be a bit low...I don't know if i really believ the unhappiness comes from not having a man because doesn't God purpose some people to remain single? Am I way off here?

Diandra Ann said...

um... I'm thinking very much of our conversation last night... It just can't be a clunky old bicycle... Needs to be a good solid one that loves Jesus... Has a job... And good breath :) oh wait... Did that kill the analogy?

Melinda said...

I agree with Christy's assertions that our satisfaction comes from Christ. But I believe the disatisfaction many (even Christian) women are facing is due to them not submitting to the authority and headship of either their husbands or Christ. I believe women function best when we are led. When we try to lead in our marriages or when we get ahead of Christ (if we are single) we get in serious trouble.
Now, onto the subject of men having jobs. I understand your theory that a man needs to be responsible, etc. But, that doesn't always mean they HAVE to have a job. My man is in ministry and I will ALWAYS be the breadwinner of our family. This is how I am called to be my husband's helpmate. Just because he didn't have a "job" when we got married doesn't mean that he wasn't worthy of my affection and he wasn't marriage material. Just a side note, I know it's off today's topic, but it's been on my mind :)

Annie said...

First of all, Diandra Ann -- YOU. ROCK.

Next, I'd have to say that I do think that there has to be some sort of connection and here's why: the feminist movement was more about separating women from men. For a woman to be dependant on a man is just disgusting! I mean, how could you?? ;0)

This (to me) flies in the face of what God is all about -- relationship. I am a separate being from my husband, but together we are stronger. Does that mean I NEED him to survive? Nope. But it sure does make life more fun and interesting.

Everytime I sit and consider any of the things I thought I would be doing in my life right now if I weren't married (ME. STRONG. WOMAN.), I realize that they don't seem as important or fascinating as they once did. Having MY Hubs in my life is something that I never realized would mean so much to me. Had I gone the way of those I was surrounded by, I would be missing out on so much. My 2-cents! (Is that enough to buy my BB a new shiny bike???)

Jasmine said...

Okay, so here's my two cents...
If you're a fish, I don't think you need a bike as much you think you need a bike.
Just sayin'...

xoxo

Anonymous said...

mama mia i don't know what to say!!! but i don't think women need a men in their lives to be happy!!!not everybody is Husband/wife material.. i guess

Anonymous said...

Right on Christy & Melinda...love your assertions!!
my opinions: if you lack contentment/satisfaction as a single person...you will lack contentment/satisfaction as a married person. FULL satisfaction/contentment comes from JESUS and JESUS only! However, I don't think there is anything wrong in "wanting" (to the point that you think you need) a man/husband... I mean God forbid that a person actually "want" to get married and "want" to be a helpmate... if you want to be single be single and give glory to God for it! if you want to be married get married and give glory to God for it!

-j

btw...good post BB, 143

christy said...

i agree J...yes, There's nothing wrong with what u choose, and i also agree about being unsatisfied as a person married or single...me, i love my hubby..but I am sure there are those who love to be single...either way, Jesus satisfies...:)

noellemonique said...

I actually just stumbled on your blog, and I have to say I completely agree with you! I believe the reason women are so unhappy right now, is because they're not doing what God intended for them to do. We are made to have a companion to help us through this life. We are made to have children and nurture them, and teach them to love the Lord. A lot of young woman I talk to, judge you by what career path you're on, and look down on you if you want to get married and be at home with your children! The feminist idealogy, is completely anti-Christian...

His Jewel said...

I agree with you B, I too am Nemo and hand me a Schwinn! I AM completely fulfilled in the Lord and about my Father's business. HOWEVER my hearts desire since I was a little girl was to be married and be a mom. There is NOTHING wrong with those desires and YES you can WANT and NEED a man in your life while being COMPLETELY fulfilled and married to the Lord. Not everyone has the gift of Singleness. (Posters) Until you've walked in my shoes and waited 42 years of your life to be married, then come talk to me.

ks*Rebecca said...

Man-lover here. I believe if women and men took their roles as we were called to by our Father, we would all be LOADS happier.

christy said...

well..i don't think there is anything wrong with wanting or needing...but the question was about the correlation between happiness and not having a man...so yeah discouragement might be a part of it, but true happiness comes from the Lord:)

Anonymous said...

I am happily married and when I was single, I was not content and very lonely. Now that I am married I see God's plan how it is not good for man to be alone. I think as a christian single, I tried convincing myself that I was ok, I tried to be content, but I felt more free when I just admitted to God that I was lonely and I really longed for the person the Lord has for me. I used to think I was a bad christian because I was not content but I just feel now that of course we are to praise the Lord no matter our station in life but I do think that as singles, God allows us to feel the void so that He can fill it with His love by bringing the person HE has for us.

Bianca said...

Wow, love the conversation here!

But let me clarify that I don't think you NEED a man to complete you. Only Jerry Maguire can pull that off. But seriously, Paul, Timothy, John the Baptizer--they were SINGLE.

What I meant was that there MAY be a correlation between disrupting the harmonious relationship between man and woman--be it married or single.

Tara Harman said...

"...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" Phil 4:11.

"There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please [her] husband." 1Cor 7:34

I agree with previous commentors who have said that if you are not content single, you will not be content married. We should be content in whatever state we are in... and singleness and being married are veeery different states. One is not more satisfying than the other. There are good things about being single that you can't have when you are married, and there are good things about being married that you can't have when you are single. As for feminists... they are just not going to be happy without Jesus... period.

Anonymous said...

"The feminist idealogy, is completely anti-Christian..."

I think this is a bit too broad. And, it depends on what you consider "feminist ideology." I consider myself a (Christian) feminist, but my definition of "feminism" is simply believing that men and women are created EQUALLY in the image of God, and should be treated as such.

I also believe that being a strong, independent woman (whether married or not) can most certainly be Christian - look how many strong women are depicted in the Bible - and they were living in a COMPLETELY patriarchal culture! Furthermore, Jesus Himself HONORED women (again, in a culture that did NOT consider women to be anything more than servants). I think there are some 'gems' from the Feminist movement that Christian women would be better off for embracing b/c I believe they are indeed taught in Scripture.

I don't think a woman "needs" a man (though I am happily married and grateful that God chose to give me a husband ... most days, haha). I do, however, believe we are designed for relationship. First and foremost, though, is our relationship with Christ, where ALL satisfaction and ALL contentment must come from. Without that as your foundation and center, it won't matter if you're married or not, b/c you will be looking to the wrong sources to meet your needs, and will be unhappy anyway.

Great topic, great conversation ladies!

Laurel said...

Just have to pop in here and comment on Melinda's comment ...

"Now, onto the subject of men having jobs. I understand your theory that a man needs to be responsible, etc. But, that doesn't always mean they HAVE to have a job. My man is in ministry and I will ALWAYS be the breadwinner of our family."

If Melinda's man is in ministry, I hope that he would be making a bit of money from his full-time ministry. Sometimes, wives are needed to supplement what the husbands are bringing home. But, I am very concerned about the comment that she will "ALWAYS be the breadwinner". Maybe ... just maybe ... God is calling their family to LIVE ON LESS. My husband just quit teaching after 21 years of a "secure job" (it didn't pay a lot, but it was secure). His new pastoral position pays less than $2,000 per month. Our mortgage is $1,600 per month. But ... I am NOT going to work. I am staying home and homeschooling my children. We are trusting the LORD to provide for ALL of our needs. And, God is blessing us in AMAZING ways ... much of which includes outside work for my husband (on top of his ministry). But, he is responsible to provide for his family, and the Lord will direct him as to how he is to do that.

Living on LESS,

mama of 13

Krystle Hummer said...

Feminism and chauvinism started at the fall when we chose to go against God's perfect will. Men started to be authoritarian in there love and women started to try and userp man's authority. The only way balance can come is when we both submit to God and follow his design for woman and manhood.

I just recently heard of business women taking classes on how to find fulfillment as a wife because the business world wasn't cutting it for them....

Bianca said...

@anonymous: wish you would've left your name! i really enjoyed reading your insight. furthermore, i agree. *melinda* probably wouldn't have gotten paid today what she's worth had not crazy liberals burned their bras. i wouldn't have been able to be where i am today had it not been for the legitimate belief that women were equal with men. things have gotten very skewed, but albeit, things worked out for god's glory.

@laurel: met your daughter on twitter. she's beautiful and sweet! also, my family made the pastoral leap and financial cut. in retrospect, it was worth it and we are blessed today because of it!

@krystle: welcome to the blog!!! i loved that you pointed out it was a mutual submission. i couldn't agree more. submission sometimes is relegated only to women, but paul tells us to submits ourselves to one another. it all goes back to treating your neighbor as yourself!

you ladies rock! there is diversity among unity :)

noellemonique said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melinda said...

@Laurel: My husband is in a full-time Christian band traveling the country/world sharing the gospel through music. He is not paid much. He, frankly, earns about $15,000 a year. Something I doubt we could live on - especially not in California! We are fully prepared that he will be the stay at home dad when the time comes. This obviously isn't for everyone, but it is what we feel we are called to. If God were to move us to a new situation in life and call me to stay home, we would do that as well.

Cassie said...

ok i have to pipe in... although i am not a debater or professional on any of the subjects being discussed...

recently i have heard a lot about "christian feminism" and the "equality" of women and men in the church. It's intrigued me quite a bit, and am still researching it out...

although i am believe that women and men were created 'equal', and that God does not love or honor men above women, i believe men and women have proper roles, set out in scripture and that this world we live in has grossly messed up the Biblical Worldview of theses roles.

I AM NOT saying women should stay home, crochet, bake, birth 20 kids and be a sex slave to their husband, but i think more importantly they should look at their role in supporting the men in their lives and learning the art of submission. (oh goodness, i should blog on this...)

as for "needing" a man...

Genesis 3:16 "Yet your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you."

whenever someone gives me the "you need to learn to be content in your singleness line." i look at 2 things: A. how long has the person who is saying this been married (longer than they were single is the average) B. check out Gen. 3:16

Although there is a certain art and "freedom" that comes with being single... and a Joy only Christ can bring... I want my "Schwinn" and sooner than later would be perfectly ok with me!!! I will not press the pause button on the life Christ has called me to live because i am single, but i won't deny the desire for a husband and partner.

I'm a photographer, and edit thousands of photos a week. There is a rare occasion that i take a picture and don't edit it. It's perfect. It's brilliant! It could even probably sell for a good price. So why in the world would i edit it??!? to ENHANCE the quality.

My life as a single girl is "perfect". I LOVE my job, i LOVE my church, I LOVE the ministry Christ has blessed me with, and wouldn't trade any of that for a man, but i am praying for a man who will enhance what is already brilliant in my life.

now that i have taken over Bianca's comment section on the matter of bicycle riding fish... i should stop before this becomes a blog post in itself ;)

do some biblical research on the rolls of women... don't take it out of context, but see what God has to say...

PS- I'm not a crazy person who thinks girls should be quiet in the church either... that's a whole nothing subject!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I will say that in my own honest observations, it seems that women "need" a helpmeet or soulmate a lot less than guys do. I wish it weren't that way, but it seems to be the case.

Brian Banker from Whittier College

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