news, hints, and incourage...

There's some big news I want to share with you all, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow. There's so many details I need to sort through and right now, I can't even think straight. Here's a hint: it starts with en- and ends with -gaged. Oh yeah, baby, you heard right!

In the mean time, it's my monthly post on (in)courage, a website of collected writings from different women from around the country. If you've never checked it out, take some time to check it out! The bloggers are amazing and I'm honored to write alongside of them.

To read the post in it's entirety or post a comment, click here:

The room filled will chattering girls, laughing boys, and shushing teachers. It was chapel time. The mandatory, one-hour service where all good Christian kids go and eagerly await a required bible study.

Tough crowd.

They were the Christian picture of scholastic perfection. Pressed uniforms, light makeup for girls, neatly combed hair for boys. I began to share on the given topic for chapel that particular day, but something was amiss. There was an air of hypocrisy creeping into the room and choking hold of the dark truth in hearts and minds.

I've turned off comments here so you can join the conversation at (in)courage!

lessons from an 11 year old...

Jesus said, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. --Matthew 19:14

The room was full and worship ended when the youth pastor came forward to announce there would be a impromptu prayer session. Now, I wasn't quite sure if he knew I had completed two sessions and worship had officially ended. Call me YeOfLittleFaith, but did he really expect Junior Highers to pray? Out loud? After being cooped up for nearly two hours?

Yes. He. Did.

Pastor Gil opened in prayer and silence ensued. But one by one, sweet voices began to speak out requests from around the room and I knew why Jesus desired we have faith as a child (Mark 10:15). One particular girl moved me by her simplicity and assurance. In two long breaths she spoke out statements of belief for petitions she requested. In other words, her requests were in complete faith they would be answered.

I grabbed the precious girl after our time of prayer ended and asked her to pray with me. She giggled as if I was joking, but I was serious. I grabbed her under my arm and told her she had the gift of prayer and I needed her faith. We prayed together and after we had ended, I asked her if I could blog about her faith. She said I could--as long as I posted a picture. (This girl was a riot!)

Kayla, thank you for teaching me to have faith as a child. Your belief in our God is humbling, your faith is inspiring, and your confidence is hilarious! Never lose your boldness or faith. Keep praying like a child.

Love,

:B

Friday Video Post: youth ministry and the ONE...

I was new to youth ministry when the youth pastor asked me to oversee the junior high and senior girls. In my grandiose ideas of living like Christ, I decided to emulate the actions of Jesus. In my mind, it was going to be spiritual and holy and absolutely fantastically amazing!

But if you've ever done youth ministry, you know that there's always ONE kid who will mess up a plan, an event, or a moment. Yes, that ONE kid who believes they know everything, they're always right, and they could've done everything way better than you ever could have. And yes, that ONE kid came to my event.

The event was off to a great start. Tons of sugary snacks, greasy pizza, and cacophonous laughter from teen girls excited to sing karaoke and stay up all night. I gathered the girls up and explained to them that I would be leading them for the next couple years of youth ministry and wanted to serve them like Jesus. As an act of service to girls, our leadership team decided to wash their feet in basins of warm, sweet smelling water.

As worship played in the background, each leader washed and cleaned each of the girls feet while I shared the passage in John 13 where Jesus humbled himself and washed the feet of the disciples. It was emotional. By the time I finished reading and grabbed a basin there was only ONE girl left to be attended to. And yes, it was the ONE girl I didn't want to even get near to.

I looked at her feet and had to smoother the gag reflexes forming in my chest. It looked like she walked 10 miles in tar and her toe nails hadn't been cut in 40 years. Of all the girls here, I said to myself, I had to get this ONE.

As I touched her feet and slipped them into the bubbly basin, she began to weep uncontrollably. She buried her face in her hands and through painful sobs she apologized to me. She apologized for being negative and allowing her bitterness to over take her. She explained that she felt as if no one loved her... not even her mom. Yet as she heard the words of Christ read aloud and had her feet washed, she knew she was loved. Loved by God and loved by me.

Boy, did I feel like a schmuck!!! I started crying and confessed to her that I needed to apologize too. We were sobbing wrecks. But sobbing wrecks who felt the presence of Jesus in that room.

cutting: by his wounds we are healed...

She bled for twelve years. A nameless, faceless woman in Mark 5 pushed through the throngs of people all wanting a miracle. But she was different. She believed. Her belief healed her.

Suzie bled in silence. Behind her pixie physique and wide smile was a girl who was unaccepted, untouched, unloved. Youth camps, all-nighters, bible studies, and mission trips all hid the internal bleeding which was killing her softly. No one knew her.

Jesus stopped the world on it's axis to meet the need of one woman. A woman he knew had been unaccepted, untouched, and unloved. According to the halacha Hebrew law, a bleeding woman couldn't sit in certain places, eat with certain people, or touch anyone who was pure. But she knew, she really, really, believed that a man name Jesus could heal her. And he did.

In the suicide ward I sat with Suzie for hours. A cutter, a loner, a girl hemorraging from a broken heart who masked it with indie fashion and blonde hair. Unsure of what to say, the only words said for the first hour was, What can I do for you? She laid on the hospital bed; the red scars glowed like neon signs for help against the clean white sheets.

Just touch me, she said. Just love me.

In living Life out loud, we have the power to be the physical touch of Jesus. Though I didn't have the power to heal Suzie, I told her she didn't have to suffer any longer. Her scars and stripes are now going to serve as signs of rememberance of what was stated in Isaiah 53:5, by His wounds we are healed.

choose life...

Somewhere in between conversations about shaving legs and shopping, they grew up. Somewhere between purchasing a pencil pouch and a prom dress, they found themselves. Somewhere between doubt and belief, they found their savior. And I've been privileged to be there for it all. 

I've been their youth leader, mentor, ATM machine, big sister, nagging mother, diva runway coach extraordinaire, and friend. As a motley crew of girls from L.A., we've left our finger prints and footmarks in Osaka and Tijuana, Okinawa and Bay St. Louis, Rosarito and Tokyo, Palm Springs and Ensenada; around the world and back again, we've taken the Word of God global. 

Now these girls are graduating, leaving my wing, and taking a piece of my heart with them. In Deuteronomy 30 Moses is giving his parting words to the Israelites who he's loved, nurtured, and cared for, in the desert, in captivity, in the face of disillusionment, despair, and depression. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I dispense the words of Moses who said it best:

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, to keep his commands, decrees and laws; they you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. . . This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may love love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life... (30:15-17,20)

There are three commands in verse 15: 1. love the Lord, 2. walk in his ways, and 3. keep his commands. If we follow these uber simple instructions, we will be blessed. But we have a choice to walk away, to go back to Egypt, to choose an easier option. But the words of Moses pierce my heart to the core. If I could give one sentence to the girls I've grown to love, it would be choose life. Though we may be oppressed, though we may feel like we've been wandering for forty years, though our enemies pursue us, choose life. 

Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the Way, the truth, and the Life." There for I urge you to choose life. I'm not promising a cumbaya campfire and perpetual dwelling in the Land of Milk and Honey, but when we choose life we find fulfillment for our spiritual hunger, living water when we are parched in the middle of our desert, and protection for the enemies who pursue us. Roxy, Becca, Swishy, Nikkie, Sol, Baby Chankla, Jen, Amanda, Kimbo, Celiz, Christy, Leggie and all the girls who came before and all the ones still to come, I beg of you to choose life. 

I. Love. You.