love... [I of III]

For the last 55 years, there has been one genre of literature that outsells all historical fiction, crime dramas, and mysteries to win the title of best-selling novels. Know what it is? Romance novels. Yes, the paperback books with wind blown hair of a half naked buxom blond languidly laying helplessly in the arms of a buff Fabioesque male in the grocery market checkout lines. What about highest ranked movies for female moviegoers? Yup, chick flicks. Why do women want to see these films? Simple, we want to get lost in the love affair of the characters! We want to feel that love! We love love! In an email from a friend in New York, he reminded me of how passionately I feel about love:

    I feel that there's a small club of us who love love the way we do, and you, Bianca, are the PRESIDENT of the club. I want to see you succeed like I want Obama to succeed. This sounds ridiculous but it's true. I feel like you need to succeed so that hope that was promised to us by individuals we believe in comes to pass... so that I know everything is the way it's supposed to be. 

But people, we've been duped! Contemporary media, medieval literature, and archaic Platonic philosophy has created an idealized version of love. We wait for someone from Seattle to meet us at the top of the Empire State Building, a maverick who snuck onto a doomed ship dodging icebergs confessing our undying love to someone they've just met, or having a man by the name of Jerry say, You complete me. But this is not real. So what's a real love story? The whole bible is a love letter from God to His people. Not only does God long for us, but longs to be loved by us (Deut. 6:5, Matt. 22:37-38). Though there are many examples of God's love in the bible, I've isolated three to touch on lightly.

God's love is EVERLASTING. In Jeremiah 31:3 we are told that God loves us with an everlasting love. The ironic part about this is that it was written for the children of Israel who were spoken about through verbal imagery as virgins (v. 4), but we know from previous scriptures that they had been whoring about with other nations, giving themselves to other gods. But His love is eternal and everlasting and incapable of forgetting. 

He hasn't forgotten about us. He knows our names. He knows our every thought. He sees each tear that falls. He hears us when we call. Isaiah 49:16 tells us that He has inscribed us in the palm of His hand. This is the best visual for me because at one time I had two cell phones, a PDA, a laptop, a calendar, a zillion post-it notes, and a notepad on my desk. But even now, the most important things I need to remember are written in the palm of my hand. To know He has me etched in the palm of his hand moves me to my core... to know that my name is near His nail pierced hands means more to me than words could describe. 

Live  today in LOVE. Live in God's everlasting LOVE. 

a plan for your life...

I drove to Twin Peaks, California knowing that it was going to be an exposé of my life. Proverbally stripped and naked in front of women my age, I knew I had to candidly share my lot in life. Not what I have overcome, conquered, or achieved; just me, slightly dazed and confused, but not alone. 

The small retreat was held in a large cabin full of 30 women excited to hear about reckless abandonment in life; letting go and letting God move. I was the evening speaker and I knew I had to put aside my facade of dutiful service unto the Lord and unmovable faith and just share what the Lord was doing. I paralleled the message to Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland as she falls down a dark, deep, never ending pit of black because in that moment, I felt like Alice. I knew at some point I was going to hit the bottom, but it was the in-between stage that was most frightening. The evening was amazing and I don't know if anyone else was blessed, but my socks were blown off at how God moved! 

The next morning before I left, one of the directors of the group reached into a gift bag and pulled out a tacky, fluorescent colored key chain. I hate key chains. They're tacky. But something about this key chain caught my attention. The large plastic covering had pink flowers and a yellow background. It screamed: Look at me! I'm tacky! I smiled as she handed it to me. B, I think the Lord wants me to give this to you. I'm obviously carnal because I said to myself, But the Lord knows I hate key chains. As I flipped it over Psalm 138:8 was printed in bubble letters:

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;

your love, O Lord, endures forever--

do not abandon the works of your hands.

I knew that I was obedient to share what I believe the Lord had asked of me. This measily key chain was a reminder from the Lord that He hadn't abandoned me in the deep, dark, never ending pit. He was right beside me with a tacky, flourescent key chain letting me know that He has a plan for my life. 

Today is the two month anniversary of my blog and if I die today, I know that over 24,474 people have visited this site to read about my life and what the Lord continues to do in the lives of others. According to my stats, there are people checking in from all over the world like Australia (good day, mates!), England (cheerio!), Barcelona and Palma, Spain (hola amigos!), Germany (guten tag!), Vienna, Austria (um--guten tag?), Panama (ciao!), and yes, even the Ozarks (howdy, y'all!). If this was God's purpose in my life, I know that He has not abandoned me and I'm going to keep on, keeping on! 

Life is not easy, but God's burden is light. Sin is ugly, but God is beautiful. I am messed up, but God is perfect. I am sick, but God is the Master Physician. If all this ends today, know that God has not abandoned you, the work of His hands. If you walk according to His ways, He will fulfill His purpose in you. 

love leads to repentance...

Whittier College circa 1999: Stauffer dormitory heard me beg for mercy like my life depended on it. Because it did.

I was caught in a little lie that turned into a massive lie. Let's just say that my attempted cover-up involved Nermin, the resident aid, John, the campus security guard, the Whittier Police Department... and my Dad. In order to cover my stupidity, I made up a tiny fib that covered my tracks. Nermin sighed relief, John left the dorm room, the police department was notified that I was okay, and well, Dad hung up the phone and that was that. Or so I thought. 

Jasmine was my roommate and apparently a hot version of Elliot Stabler. She knew I was lying. She just couldn't prove it. The next day everything was exposed in our small dorm room and Jasmine was filled with righteous indignation. She was so angry with me she almost slapped me. Not because I was a liar but because I lacked the moral fiber to tell the truth. She stopped in the middle of our blue throw rug and stared at me with hot fire in her eyes. You have two options, she said. You call Dad or I call Dad. Oh sweet Moses! Oh sweet Abraham! Oh sweet baby Jesus! Please.Don't.Make.Me.Call.Dad. I could tell Nermin, John, and the entire Whittier Police Department that I was a big, fat liar, but there was NO way in this great earth that I was going to tell my father. Um, let's just say that we rumbled and tumbled in our third story room, then I chased her down the stairwell, then I busted open the pay phone door, then I pulled the pay phone from the wall (yes, the wall), then I chased her down the walkway of Whittier College yelling at her in tears to please have mercy on me and not call Dad. 

She looked at me with the seriousness of a nun and said, I'm calling Dad. 

I knew I had to beat her to the punch so I hopped in my black Pontiac and sped down Washington Boulevard until I reached his office. I ran past the secretary, the office technician, the custodian, and into his office. My face was tear stained and swollen from crying during the drive. I bolted into his office and before I could even say a word he said, Bibee, it's okay. It's okay and I love you. Speechless and weak in the knees, I capitulated on the floor and began to sob. He reached down and stroked my head assuring me that he still loved me and things would be okay. 

In Luke 15 we see that the true love and forgiveness of a father led to true repentance in a wayward son. After wild living and squandering wealth on hoochies, a starving man feeding debase animals realizes that life with his father is better than anything money could buy. From a far distance his father ran with open arms to receive him, lavishly pouring kisses upon him. The love of the father motivates a true heart of repentance. For a full discussion and explanation of this parable, the talk from last night is live and ready to download here. 

heresy and translators...

I talk fast when I'm nervous. Like really fast. Sometimes it's so fast things get lost in translation and heresy is created.

For example, I was asked to work on a project for a children's bible Thomas Nelson publication wanted to create. I was SO excited and I couldn't wait to tell some of the girls from my discipleship group. That night at youth group I blurted out, Ohmygoodness! Iwasaskedtowriteforaprojectforanewchildren'sbible!!! [inhale] TheyaskedmetowriteanarticleonpuritywithabunchofamazingspeakersandteachersandI'msoexcitedIcouldcry[exhale]. When some other kids came around, one of the youth asked what the commotion was about they replied, Bianca's writing a bible! Um, no, that's heresy. But it was hilarious to hear how my MexiRican language was translated. The good news is that my article is in English so I won't need any translators.

The project was such an honor for me to participate in not only because they had AMAZING teachers and authors contribute articles, but because I believe in the project. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 tells us, And these words I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, you shall talk about them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise. Teaching children God's word at a young age in imperative. Sarah Yardley, editor and chief of this project, gave me an opportunity to mold and shape young minds on the issue of purity. I couldn't be more excited to announce that the project is complete and will be released this month!!! If you're looking for an amazing bible to give to child, I highly recommend this easy-to-navigate bible. 

I mean, come on! I wrote the bible for crying out loud ;)

Speaking of translations, I promise to speak slower tonight at the third installment of our Se7en Deadly Sins series. Like I said, I talk fast when I'm nervous. Like really fast.  [click here to watch LIVE worship with Dominic Balli and teaching at 6:55PM]

*Edit: The editor emailed me today and told me that they sold the first copy of the bible EVER to one of my blog readers?! How blessed am I? Beyond words.

three seasons and life lessons...

If you've followed this blog for awhile you know that I have this thing with movies and searching out unrequited meanings in the plot. While reading zie uber fabulous book Prodigal God by Tim Keller I was reminded of a foreign film that caused me to cry rivers of tears for days after viewing. Reason number 342,457,364 why I want to grow up and be Tim Keller: he watches movies like I do. (Now if he ate popcorn with jalapenos while doing so, I'd be his indentured servant.) His comparison to the love of God in one of my favorite foreign films is genius and a perfect way to start my day.

The acclaimed foreign film Three Seasons is a series of vignettes about life in postwar Vietnam. One of the stories is about a Hai, a cyclo driver (a bicycle rickshaw), and Lan, a beautiful prostitute. Both have deep, unfulfilled desires. Hai is in love with Lan, but she is out of his price range. Lan lives in grinding poverty and longs to live in the beautiful world of the elegant hotels where she works, but in which she never spends the night. She hopes that the money she makes by prostitution will be her means of escape, but instead the work brutalizes and enslaves her. 

Then Hai enters a cycle race and wins the top prize. With the money he brings Lan to the hotel. He pays for the night and pays her fee. Then, to everyone's shock, he tells her he just wants to watch her fall asleep. Instead of using the power of his wealth to have sex with her, he spends it to purchase a place for her for one night in the normal world, to fulfill her desire to belong. Lan finds such grace deeply troubling at first, thinking Hai has done this to control her. When it becomes apparent that he is using his power to serve rather that use her, it begins to transform her, making it impossible to return to a life of prostitution.

Jesus Christ, who had all the power in the world, saw us enslaved by the very things we thought would free us. So he emptied himself of his glory and became a servant (Philippians 2). He laid aside the infinities and immensities of his being and, at the cost of his life, paid the debt for our sins, purchasing us the only place our hearts can rest, in the Father's house. Today let's live not like prostitutes trying to survive, but like children of God who were born to thrive.

proud to be american...

Not too long ago an nine year-old boy crossed the United States border with his family in flight from an abusive patriarch and oppressive country. They traveled with green cards but knew they would illegally stay in the Land of Opportunity when the cards expired 72 hours later. In the crevices of their mind and the veins in their hearts, they knew Life would be different in the Estados Unidos. With nothing more than hope and love, a family of five lived on one income from a single mother working in a sweatshop in downtown LA. 

Sun rise. Sun set. Sun rise. Sun set. Like in Fiddler on the Roof, swiftly passed the years and the eight year-old boy decided to fight for a country which gave him the right to be who he wanted to be: a legal citizen. Viet Nam took the lives of many Americans, but it gave my father back his. He returned to the United States of America as a legal citizen and flaunts this privilege in the simplicity of hanging a red, white, and blue flag on his porch everyday and pushing out his chest with pride everything we pass Camp Pendelton or anything USMC. He still proffers the Jarhead mantra, No blood, no pain, and has a collection of Marine Corps paraphernalia in his office at work. I make fun of my father on occasion for his obsession with Hoooorhaaah'ing every Marine that passes him and believing he can still run a mile in six minutes flat.

But in all antics and sentimentalism that I'm expecting to see tomorrow, I know that my father will be sincerely and aunthentically moved to tears when our national anthem is played. Why? Well, because he is a citizen by choice, not by right. Through fighting for the public's right to speak against American officials, boycott the war, or lambast American foreign policy, he proudly stood on foreign soil fighting for a country he CHOSE to be a part of. Now I am a grateful recipient of his sacrifice. Because of him and millions of others, I am free to live in this country I call home, proud to say I'm American, and humbled that I have the privilege of waving my red, white, and blue flag tomorrow while celebrating the birth of my country. 

lifeguard on duty...

I held my whistle loosely on my lips, I donned black ray bans, and my candy apple red toenail polish matched exactly to the color of my swimsuit. I totally looked like a lifeguard. 

Unbeknownst to me a seven year-old girl by the name of Emily was drowning right beneath my candy apple colored toes. Six weeks of lifeguard training went out the window when I saw Emily's blue eyes the size of saucers from under the water. I impulsively reached down into the water like Conan the Barbarian and pulled her out by her hair. Yes, her hair. David Hasselhoff  would've been ashamed at my skills especially after all those Baywatch episodes I watched, but she lived. So there. 

Emily was crying... Her mother was crying... I was crying. Come on, it's tough living up to Wendy Peffercorn and Pam Anderson!

One thing I will never forget about my lifeguard training course was an exercise my instructor taught us. He said he was going to pretend to be a typical drowning victim and we had to attempt to rescue him. Simple, right? Wrong! I dove into the water and swam as quickly as I could to "rescue" the victim. However, when I reached him he was frantically reaching for me and grasping on to me so tight, we both went under. As I coughed up ten pounds of water and put down my pride he explained that an active victim is so gripped by fear that they will ruin a rescue attempt. 

The drill was done again except this time he told us to use our discernment as to when we should dive in. A new student was chosen to do the rescue. He waited patiently on the pool deck until our instructor was so tired he would no longer fight against his own will to survive. The moment he surrendered to the struggle, the trainee dove in and quickly cupped our instructor under his strong arms and pulled him to safety. This visual never left me. Til this day I remember the look of exhaustion on the face of my instructor and the look of confidence on my fellow student. 

I realized that Jesus Christ is our lifeguard. He performs CPR on us when our heart is under attack, He protects our life and discerns danger, He gives us warnings to keep us from danger, and when necessary, He waits until we have completely surrendered our will to fight only to reach out and save us. There, in that moment, Jesus cups us under His nail pierced hands and pulls us to safety. In His arms is Life and Life abundantly. Stop fighting the inevitable and let Jesus save your life. For as it says in Mark 8:34, What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Live out a paradox today: give up the fight, win the battle. 

wrath...

For those who wanted to come to the study last night but couldn't (ehem, Jasmine and Diandra), I've posted instuctions to download last night's study on wrath! Click here for simple instructions for a one-time subscription. 

If you would like a instantaneous podcast when we load them, our wonderful IT coordinator extraordinaire created simple instructions. Three cheers for Roland Lew!

Manual Subscription:
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For those who came out last night, I'm so blessed to see how God is moving in your hearts and minds. The best is yet to come...

Live in the name of LOVE,

B