Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Today marks the day I'm officially... [cough, cough, swallow]... mature. Maybe this means I have to stop singing and dancing wildly in my car. Or stifling my raucous laugh with a dainty hand covered in a Victorian glove. Or wearing walking shoes. Or maybe this means I'm full of sage wisdom.
What God? What are you telling me? Oh, it means I'm full of sage wisdom? Greaaaaat! I'll impart my knowledge of the last couple years...
*When you learn an American idiom, don't try it out. When someone says, It's like spitting in the wind, what they mean is, don't be stupid and try it.
*Don't steal gum--or anything--in front of my mother. Piety overwhelms her and she'll march you right on over to the manager and make you tell him you stole a package of watermelon flavored Bubblicious gum. Hypothetically, of course!
*Make friends who are better than you or possess strength in your areas of weakness. You'll be like the Greek phalanx; better together than separate.
*If at all possible, get a twin. You can blame them if you're wrong, play with them when you're bored, and steal clothes when necessary.
*Don't EVER date a lead singer in a band. They'll be more in love with themselves than you'll ever be. You're welcome.
*Date someone who is super clean so they'll take care of the household chores, while you watch trashy reality television. [Just kidding, Matt! Well, half kidding.]
*Do what you're inspired to do. Even if you think you're not good at it. It may not be a lucrative profession, but in the end, it's better to fail at something you love than succeed at something you hate. Truth.
*Never wash your white clothes with a red sock.
*Read your bible daily!
If you have any advice to add, feel free to! For those older than I, pour out your wisdom :) I need it.