Friday, December 11, 2009

Friday Video Post: cosmetics, christians, and the church

She came up to me with her hair in a slick bun, long skirt, and nothing more than a band of gold on her ring finger. After quick pleasantries, she began to question my worldly clothing and use of makeup while referencing 1 Peter 3:3-4. I was taken back and immediately felt like I looked like RuPaul on a Friday night! Out of embarrassment I simply apologized, thanked her for attending the lecture, and began wiping blush from my cheeks.

I was mortified. But I began to research the texts she quoted and found an amazingly sound biblical explanation and reason for Peter to write what he did. Apologetics Press wrote a great article and after reading it, I felt like I should slap on some mascara and douse my lips with gloss! Bring it on.

I'd love for you to weigh in on the issue of cosmetics, Christians, and the church. What are your thoughts about bridging Old Testament references and New Testament scriptures?

35 comments:

promise tangeman said...

PREACH IT SISTA!!!! your barn was lookin REALLY EXTRA good today. wowza. :) hhehe

Lacey said...

Your explanation is wonderful. Cosmetics and clothing don't really change us but make us more, both in appearance and in feeling. I know that when I look better I feel better.
We are houses for God. We make our churches look nice so why wouldn't we make ourselves look nicer also. Maybe if people would think of it as just a little extra it would be better. Not to cover up ourselves but to enhance. Just like adding flowers and candles in the church enhances the look and feel of being present.
Obviously, these are just my thoughts and I know many people feel differently. I enjoyed this topic and your vlog post!

the BLAH BLAH BLAHger said...

I LOVED this post! And I totally agree. Cosmetics aren't the devil. Ha! I go to Mariner's and Kenton did an awesome series on Ruth this last year. He talking about "sparkling" for our intended and how appearance is just one way of doing that. Then, he didn't let the married folk off the hook, either. I loved that he placed the same importance on people who'd already met their mate. It rocked. I hope that you continue the conversation and that people who are questioning this issue find solace in the Biblical truth you threw out there!

Cindy A. said...

Sometimes this farmer just doesn't want to paint the barn! When I told a close friend "Hey you look really great today" she let me in on a little secret:

Sometimes you wake up and just know it's going to be one of those days. You're not feeling it or you're just down in the dumps for X, Y and Z. But it's on those days that I really take the extra time to dress up and put on my face, not for anyone else, but for me and before I know it, I feel good and a smile appears on my face.

It's not always about appearance, but like you said Bi, it's about how you're feeling on the inside.

KS*Rebecca said...

I wear makeup, dont see anythign wrong with it. Clothes I guess it depends, I mean something super short where stuffs hanging out or cleavage baring I think is wrong to wear in public(for your husband tho, its fine) :)

Rebecca said...

I LOVE your friday vlogs. I always forget they are coming and then when you tweet about them it's a nice friday surprise. I don't see any harm in make-up. It is a way to feel good about yourself, sometimes express yourself - similar to dressing nicely. :)

brianwurzell said...

As one of the 'men' weighing in on the conversation here...I would just like to say I'm with you! I love your perspective and I think the external care should have it's roots on the internal care, first and foremost.

One thing is true...I know my wife doesn't want me to turn into a marshmallow so I've gotta take care of my biz, watch what I eat/drink, exercise and be mindful that this body is mine to either take care of or let go of. I don't always do the best job, but, my hope is to take care of it.

For all the ladies...you've got to get 'sexy'. I love Rob Bell's wife's definition of what sexy really means. When asked by one of their young sons what sexy means, she promptly replied, "Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your body feels right. It feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you." (Bell, Sex God, p 46). I LOVE THIS QUOTE!!!

I can tell you from a mans perspective, that there is nothing more attractive than a woman that is striving towards that definition. Being sexy takes work and not just work in the bathroom with your eyeliner, lipstick and heeps of foundation layered on your face. Being sexy is the work going on inside of you that manifests itself outside of you. There's nothing sexier than a woman who knows who she is, knows who's she is and can laugh about herself. There's also nothing sexier than a woman who after she knows who she is...takes care of herself.

I say adopt the model to 'never let yourself go and do your best' and if you're seeing more gray's or wrinkling a little more...just laugh about it and move on. Let your heart, your laugh, your smile, your passion, your love for people and the Lord be the dominating factor. That's sexy!!

Bianca said...

@promise: thanks! i knew you'd understand ;)
@lacey: YES. it's about enhancing, not changing the external!
@blahger: i love kenton!!! he's amazing. now i'm going to search for his podcast :)
@cindy: like coach frank always said, "if you look good, you play good." i agree with your friends advice... then again, i wear too much makeup! ha.
@ks*: she said my clothing was worldly because i was in denim?! pants were forbidden in her mind, so i was like the devil who wears prada in her mind.
PS i love that you threw out that husband line! i completely agree!!!

Bianca said...

BRIAN!!! You flippin' rock. Period, the end.

Your answer is spot-on-the-money and I love that it comes from a guy.

Three cheers for the Couple Of The Year, Brian and Promise!!!

PS: EVERYONE go vote for Promise as she's up for Collide Magazine's Best Of 2009. Just click on her name and it'll take you to her blog. I voted. Three times :)

Anonymous said...

I was born and raised on a very conservative family where I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup or jeans or skirts that were short. But after I got married I decided to wear makeup and to fix myself to look good to my husband and to feel good with myself. I do wear makeup now but if I don’t have to wear it I am ok with it, I see some little girls wearing make up at the age of 11, they don’t need it at that time, and they are beautiful without it. I do agree women wearing makeup but without going over board and just keeping it simple and remember always that we do represent church so, and sometimes women tend to forget that and get carry away with the world tendency. Let’s try to look less worldly!!!

Annie said...

THAT was exceptional!! I have known many women who are taught in their churches, homes that to adorn themselves is blasphemous to God. What the What!?? (ala Michelle) As you say, we need to present ourselves as the lovely, wonderful, BLESSED women of God that we are... so why would we present ourselves as something less? The trees and flowers and mountains all have an immediate and acceptable beauty about them 'cuz that's what God did for them. Are we not MORE than the trees and flowers and mountains? And I do love (and need to remember!!) that what I portray on the outside should represent who I am on the inside. And by faith, that needs to ALWAYS be beautiful! Afterall, beauty is in the eye of THE Beholder!! And He thinks we're pretty neat stuff! :) Thanks, BB!

melissa said...

Wow! It's Friday already? That came fast! :) Love this vlog prompt...I was juuuust thinking about this as I dropped off my kids today at school...I actually got dressed! Since leaving my career to stay at home, I throw on some sweats, drop the kids off and get to work in mi casa...but today I realized how much energy I have simply by putting on jeans a cute top, a big yellow flower ring and brushin' my hair! I admit, I let myself go and I deserve to treat myself better even if my audience is my kids and the hubster...after all they should be the only audience that matters...

Tracie said...

Great post! It also occurred to me that the situation could be turned around, at the same time. For example, if i as a christian lady, decided to go around with no makeup and over the top concervative attire, doesn't that bring on attention and judgement from others also? I would imagine that those outside of the faith, as well as other followers of Jesus might assume i was tryin to 'preach it' by my attire...and those choices in adornment and such would overshadow what my life and service is about. Kinda the same idea about when, in the Bible, we're told not to walk around mourning and downfaced when we fast.
Maybe. I could be wrong,I just feel like my inward joy should be shining on the outside in how I present myself. Cuz I look a bit ill without that extra cosmetic help... that's not the billboard i'd like to use to represent.

Kayla said...

I love this convo! Especially in a world where there is so much pressure for outward perfection.

For some OT Scripture, check out Ezekiel 16:4-14. Jen Strickland (former super model) shares this passage and is sooo cute when she says she loves it because it shows that "God is NOT opposed to a good outfit!"

"And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD."

Love you B!

Diandra Ann said...

um...
i like painting.
isn't there something to be said for make up as a hobby?

and PS... your barn is beautiful no matter what color you paint it :)

xoxo

Audrey Assad said...

Loved it. Grew up Plymouth Brethren -- makeup wasn't forbidden but certainly not encouraged, and there was more emphasis on modesty which I still appreciate, but I have since learned not to equate being modest with being frumpy.

Christian people everywhere; it's good to appreciate beauty! Internally first, and aesthetically as well! We were made to find things beautiful and to want to make things beautiful..it's a good thing, as long as it's ordered correctly.

(that was a good article by the way...thanks for the link!)

Jasmine said...

Of COURSE we like makeup...we can blame mom for that! Who let's their 12 year old daughters wear makeup?! Our MOTHER! :)
Love you!

p.s. Your barn has darker eyebrows today. Just sayin'...

Tish said...

absolutely wonderful!!!! and i love all the comments, too! i need to go find that podcast mentioned by BLah Blah....

Kayla said...

Can't listen to it yet cause I'm at work, but honestly, I hate when I get judged for that. I haven't really received any comments from Pentecostals, but I get griped at by feminist liberals about wearing makeup and pretty clothes. Head. desk.

Ultimately, looking good makes me act better. If I didn't put on makeup every day, I would probably act less and less like Jesus as time wore on. When I feel better about myself, I'm going to act better toward other people. Esther received HOW many months of beauty treatments before meeting with the king? Maybe it seems excessive to us, but if they had just sent her in as is, she never would have had the courage to do what she needed to do to save her people. If you are treated/treat yourself like a queen long enough, you will be able to act with your authority. It's not so much the hair, makeup, clothes. It's how you act. If prettying yourself up makes you act like a shrew, that's wrong. If being frumpy makes you lazy or discourages you from acting in the authority that you have been given, that's JUST AS WRONG.

Michelle said...

What about... those of us who don't particularly love make-up?! ACK! I know!! We exist. I still keep saying I need to get thyself to a Nordstrom makeup counter pronto for an intervention!! ;)

Anyway, I am not a hair pulled back in a bun kind of girl (although I did attend high school with wet hair and no makeup because sleep was more valuable than looking good).

Anyway, I'm now 34 and my barn needs painting. I still resist a little bit though.

However I heard or read something by either Beth Moore or Lisa Bevere... I totally can't remember which one said it... and it was thought provoking.

She said that the church needs to be "relevent" to the outside world. Not to become LIKE the world but RELEVENT. If I pull my hair up in a bun, rebuke designer denim and act like "Judgey McJudgerton" (ala Jon Acuff) then whatever I have to say about Christ to my pretty neighbor may not be heard because she can't get past my "WEIRD" granola look.

I've seen this in my life. I happen to have some friends who are GORGEOUS, cutting edge fashion and makeup and on FIRE for God. Other women are drawn to them, listen to what they say and are influenced.

Just one other thought on the matter.

Hey Bianca, maybe when you come to Spokane for Game Night we can head to Nordstrom for that intervention. ;) hahaha!!

Just Saying.....Said... said...

And on the 7'th day God created woman. Woo-Hoo! Go God!

Midway through the 7'th day, God's buddies starting coming to his cloud and asking "what the heck did you just do god?"

3/4 through the 7'th day he created makeup!

See, there you have it. God wants you to wear makeup girls!

As far as the bible, and organized religion? Their position is if you are a girl and wear makeup, as long as you are a church going girl, then it's ok. Reason is because then you have a better chance at landing a richer guy who can contribute more to the church. If you are not a church going girl and can't contribute to the church then you are a ho in the churches eyes! Just saying...

There are two sides to this coin and lets hope it's not a buffalo nickle! Ha!

First is we live in a time which society, media, and every part of our current lives "success" are based on things that don't really matter in life. Happiness and life fulfillment is not found in an eyeliner!

Not buying the whole paint the barn thing, if it needs painting. I love unpainted barns! They are not disguised as anything other than what they are! They are barns, full of hay, bats, horses, bunnies who breed to much, smelly stuff, mice, feed for the animals, chickens, a rope swing and much much more fun! How can any place with a rope swing be bad? Unless it's painted over and the toxins from the paint kill all it's wonderfulness? Just saying....

Life is about being true to ourselves from the deepest depths of our soul. Being a happy person, making others happy, being awesome mothers and fathers, raising our kids to achieve greater things then we did, to die at a very old age having passed on your wisdom to the next few generations! Life is about waking up each day and discovering something new, something wonderful, making a small step forward towards any goal.

If only we all could live in a world where such things as "Should I Wear Makeup" is not a topic of interest!

If only God (maybe) would have just told us what to do? Perhaps he doesn't exist and that is why the human race is floundering?

If only the use of makeup would not make ugly girls more attractive?

If only only..........

I wish. I pray. I hope. I believe. I want. I desire. I give. I cherish. I love.

I know! It is not easy! If it were, everyone God would be doing it!

Just Saying......

Anonymous said...

uh.. informative thoughts ))

Raquel said...

I love this topic! Just today I told someone how much I love makeup. I am as latin as they come: the hair, the makeup, perfume, the purse, the shoes and the jewels!!!

A week ago I did an unplanned stop at my church and wasn't wearing any makeup (I never do that)and one of the guys said to me, "Raquel you look really nice without makeup." I don't know why but I got so mad at him, lol.

Anywho, I don't remember who said it but it was something along the lines that we represent the kingdom of God, so we have to represent it well. And it is so true, people are more open to hearing what you have to say when you look approachable.(And there is nothing approachable about me with out makeup)Our outer appearance should reflect our inward being. Modesty and a sparkle of pazzaz is what I am talkin about.

May our daughters be as graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace. Psalm 144:12b

CollegeChristian said...

I agree that cosmetics in and of themselves aren't inherently evil or wrong. One question I do have, though, is how far should it go? Is it OK to CHANGE our outward appearance via dying hair or even breast augmentations and other cosmetic surgery? That is where I think I really get stuck. It definitely doesn't FEEL right to me that a boob job would be ok in God's eyes, (yes, even if it were to enhance a woman's self-esteem), but what does Scripture say?

Lydia said...

I love what Carolyn Mahaney said on the topic:

"Now God is not saying that women shouldn't style their hair or wear jewelry, for then He would also be barring clothing--and we know that is not the case. However, what the 1 Peter verse is forbidding, says Matthew Henry, is the 'inordinate love and excessive use (that is the abuse) or them'...God is not opposed to us making ourselves beautiful; rather, He unveils in this passage how women are to make themselves beautiful."

True beauty begins on the inside and can be reflected on the outside through our clothing, hair, and makeup choices!

Anonymous said...
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Agaperabba Entertainment said...

First I have to say that I'm happy to have found your vlog! Way cool!

Second to comment on "I'm just saying"...If you don't paint, stain or protect your barn it will get damaged and dilapidated after years of no care, so where I agree a more natural barn can be just as pretty as a painted one, you still have to have upkeep ;)

As far as biblical, your right make up and adornment has been around long before us and long after us, so why not paint the barn!!

Focus on the family has an article about this exact thing at: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/preventing_the_sexualization_of_your_daughter/what_the_bible_says.aspx

But I appreciate: 1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Have a blessed weekend :)

Anonymous said...

Does god accept that you teeth whiten? Why do you do that?

Kati said...

Whoa, when I saw the topic I was like, Bianca and I are FRIENDSHIP OFF if she shows her face in this video sans-makeup and tells me I can't wear it anymore either. Phhewww. Glad we can still be friends.



PS. I love YOUR humor :)

The Montgomerys said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Just Saying..... said...

@ The Montgomerys

"I don't believe we need to judge other christians :("
_________________

So who do you think "we" should judge? Mormans?

God and Make-up? Have you ever considered that there just might not be a god? Perhaps its a big hoax in order for some people to make money off of you?

Sure..Ron Perlman is god.

Just saying....

p.s. so much for sugar momma day. more bs in this world. fake.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bianca said...

Interesting thoughts, indeed! Thanks for the feedback.

Just to clarify a few things:
*I don't believe makeup is for everyone. Just ask our secretary who I encouraged to stay natural. Some women look better WITHOUT it.
*Makeup is only to inhance what God has already bestowed.
*I don't whiten my teeth. I tried a few times but it burned my gumline so I stopped.
*Thanks for your feedback. Positive or otherwise, I love the dialogue.

B

His Jewel said...

Thanks for the topic B, I LOVED it as well! You are beautiful inside and out! And I love your make-up and denim! As I started reading the comments, I realized I didn't finish putting on my make-up, so just to clear it up. It's all on now and now I can post my comment! ;)

I agree with one of the many posters above, our beauty needs to radiate from the inside out. If we need to cover up the dark circles that's hereditary, give a sun kiss to our pale cheeks and tint to our chapped pale white lips, by all means! It's true, if you look odd, weird or like a "holy roller" who is going to receive God's word from you or your testimony? They won't even hear you, all they will be thinking is that they have to conform to your ways of no make-up, slicked hair in a bun and long skirts which will turn them off to Jesus. Jesus loves EVERYONE and wants them to come to Him as they are. There should not be barriers that aren't biblical that will keep others from Jesus! I don't want people looking at me while sharing the love of Jesus; I want them to see Him in me and be open to the moving of the Holy Spirit! If I look normal, they won't be distracted from Him and think that I'm a Jim Jones follower!

Love ya B!

P.S. My Pastor did say there is nothing wrong with looking nice or using make-up --> keyword coming --> "as long as you are not spending more time on your outward appearance than you are with the Lord." And that goes for the TOTAL outward i.e. make-up, hair, WORKOUTS, etc. AMEN!

Michelle said...

@Just Saying

Hi! I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for whatever experience you've had with the church to think that it just wants money. Or that God is a hoax. And I'm really just a kid (17 and all that), but maybe you'll still hear what I have to say.

I know that God is real. He has made changes in me that no one and nothing else could. Recently, I realized that I wasn't satisfied with my life. And I have plenty of things to complain about if I wanted; so does everyone. Satisfaction isn't a matter of what you have, but if you're, well, satisfied with it. Something was wrong, inside of me. But dear, I prayed to God, and He changed me. I feel different today. And that's what God deals in - changing people. Spend some time with a new Christian. There is a difference in them, one that can't be explained. Hate dissolved, though no one said sorry. Guilt taken away, though we don't deserve forgiveness from anyone. Love, acceptance, kindness - dear, I couldn't live without these things. And every true Christian out there has a story like this of what God has done for them; they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is real. Why would we all pretend? Why would Christians in Africa die for what they believe? They don't have any money to give. Now there are some churches who use money for selfish purposes. But a great many of the churches ask for money for a good reason - to provide for people's physical needs, because no one else will.

In conclusion, I have a challenge for you. If you are serious about finding out if God is real, ask Him to show you. And He's pretty tough, he can take whatever questions you hurl at Him. He is the God of the universe, and doesn't need us to defend Him. But like this blog says, it's on His time and His terms. If I ask you a question, you may choose not to answer it, especially if I'm being a brat. The same concept applies. If you're not ready to take God seriously, to expect to receive an answer, then don't bother. I know I wouldn't bother giving an answer I knew someone wasn't even going to listen to. But if you really want to know, and aren't just arguing for the sake of arguing, please accept my challenge. Because the answer you get could change everything about your life.

P.S. Not that anyone will, but I didn't write this for people to say "Nice job, kid!", "Preach it, girl", or "Ya ya I ttly agree!" I didn't write this to get praise. I just wrote it so Just Saying would read it, which he/she hopefully will.

Don't get a worry wart!

~Michelle

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