Thursday, December 17, 2009

why i'm a horrible facebooker...

The email indicated we had to meet. There were serious issues which needed to be clarified. I set up a meeting and the 40ish father of one of the teens I mentor arrived promptly to discuss the serious issues. Privy to information about the current status of the family, I assumed it was to discuss matter of dire importance. I was SO wrong!

Him: Thank you for your time. I'll make this brief and to the point. Are we ok? Do you not like me or have I done something to offend you?
Me: [blink] Well, um, er [blink, blink, blinkblinkblink], I'm not too sure I know what this is in reference to.
Him: Well, it's just that I friend requested you on facebook over two weeks ago and you haven't accepted my friend request.
Me: [blink... blink]

I was dumbfounded. He could not possibly be serious. Oh, but he was! So serious I thought he was going to rain down fire. I explained to him that facebook was a way for me to connect with friends from high school and college and I don't accept friend requests from parents of my teens since the parents will use it as a way to spy on their children (which I knew he would do). He then proceeded to list the names of other parents who I had accepted friend requests. [blink]

Since then there have been other dramatic facebook situations which frighten me from visiting facebook (accidentally marking the 'married' and 'it's complicated' boxes; spammed with porn to my inbox; long emails from people who don't like me; being a silent voyeur of other people's lives [don't lie, you do it], etc.).

Usher had his confessions and now it's my turn. I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your facebook email, lagged in accepting a friend request, or haven't replied to a question. I have a job which I love and would like to keep so spending hours playing Farmville or snooping through photo galleries isn't my thing. I know I'm not the only one with stories from facebook, so spill it! What are some funny/dramatic/horror stories you've encountered?

Here's a video I saw on Michael Hyatt's blog. I love it!


Debbie Deb said...

True, Funny, and Strange.

Yikes! I didn't realize some people have incorporated this lighthearted means of communication as their virtual reality.

(BTW the emphatic blinks in your blog, painted a vivid picture of awkwardness. I think you handled the "moment" with much Grace and tact)

Thanks for keeping things Real.

Bianca said...

Hahahaha! Debbie Deb, I totally blink as a stall tactic. I don't do it intentionally, but it's like a nervous twitch or something?! I hate it.

KIR :)

c.cho said...

I've stepped away from facebook since october because it was starting to annoy me, and since then people who've "requested" to be my friend, or have left me comments on my wall have come up to me personally and asked if everything is ok? And why I didnt answer to their messages.

Btw.. most of them have my email, or phone number. I always wondered why they didnt try to contact me by phone or email..., but facebook??

Oh... facebook.

Thanks for posting, it made me laugh with all your blinking.

melissa said...

Well, I might be in the 1% of the population that doesn't have a facebook...but i may have to get one because it very well may be the only way I can communicate with my mom, as she never reads my emails and when I call...she's on facebook! She's so cute though...she's always "witnessing" on yoville...oh the stories!!! ;)

Just Saying..... said...

It also can become an issue when you're dating someone new. They start monitoring your activity of who's wall you post on, or who posts on your wall. "Who is this", "How do you know this person", "What makes this person think they can say that to you", "Have you dated this person"...........Geeeesh!

Then it becomes a real problem when you're dating several people and you are Facebook friends with all of them! Suddenly that excuse that you are sick and staying in gets found out when you get tagged in a photo at a club with another person! Oooops!

The best part of Facebook though is looking up old girlfriends and seeing how fat they are now, and saying, thank god I didn't marry that one! Ha ha ha!

Bianca said...

@c.cho: I know! I've wondered the same thing :)
@melissa: you don't facebook? wow!!! i think you the only person i know (besides my mom) who doesn't have facebook! heehee
@just sayin': i'm not going to lie. i looked up my ex. to my shame i admit this! somebody slap me. hard.

An Imperfect Perfection said...

too funny... I so dislike FB ... even though I'm on it - it's the only way to keep in contact with some family members!! ha

jamiedelaine said...

that is RIDICULOUS. hahah!

Anonymous said...

i began to use fb as a cheap tool to file/photo share w/family abroad (canada, peru, argentina, chile & swiz), and it quickly replaced email & IM from other sites.

However, I had a highschool nag at the fact that they needed a top security clearance to access my I caved & opened my account for the majority of the world to see...AND NOW...i have old work mates that some how believe we ought to be friends...out of abligation I add, but i must confess every so often I get rid of "friends" that I am not so interested in be-friending.


Anonymous said...

...and since we are KIR, I'll admit I too have looked up an ex. SOMEONE SLAP ME SILLY!!


D to theeeeeee G said...

LOL @ Just Saying. That post reminded me why sometimes being single is not that bad lol. All that drama is never welcomed.

Allllrighty then, many awkward moments on FB. Somehow many people I ditched on Myspace found me on FB - I act like the friend request was not intended for me, hmmm did'nt see it (im such a big meanie!). I get chats at the most inopportune moments. Counsins hit me up during work on some "What are you doing?" My beloved cousin, I am doing what I was doing yesterday at this very time you sent me a chat - WORKING! I also get the famous could you please listen to my demo.... I try to be as kind as I can to those requests. I think people that have interned for me secretly give em my info cos I actually gave them work ha!
I have seen people accidentally click the "I LIKE" button on a comment that spoke on a bad situation, they need to get rid of that button.

Now B....shame on you for checkin on your ex! Blink alot next time you get the urge just to stall yourself until you come back to reality lol.
Ok, I admit, done that once....I feeeeeeeel soooo ashamed.

The Montgomerys said...

That is so funny. I find myself getting sad if someone doesn't respond to my wall post or something, then I get real and realize it's just facebook. I like that my momma is on it and we can keep in touch because she is in Cali and I am in pa. Also, I am a loser....I <3 farmville...its because I don't have any friends here yet!


Anonymous said...

ok...since we r talking about facebook and all the social networking sites, i have a u think it's appropriate for married people to have facebooks (yes this is a real question)...talkingabout looking up exes and old do u create boundaries? I know that when getting counseled in church...women counsel women, men counsel men...we r advised not to be insituations that might appear to be inappropriate...etc...sooo is it appropriate for husbands and wives to befriend those of he opposite sex and to what extent? do u have to be mutual friends? i know i might seem like the dud out of all these posts, but when ur married, it's important to think about these issues, especially with all the technical stuff....your thoughts are appreciated:)

Anonymous said...

I have a face book..and I find it is a huge time waster...of which I love...mindless rumble, then it hit me...I will use this social networking site to share the love of Jesus as much as I can...(yep, I ignore requests as well and get called on it often) but to be really honest, Im gettin close to deleting the entire thing..its way to addicting!...isnt there a support group for "Facebook addicts"????????? help..sos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, B..couldnt help the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! marks..I luv them 2!

merry CHRISTmas!

happy fam of 10 people, 2 birds and a cat! ( and a partirdge in a pear tree!)

Anonymous said...

hahaha! Bianca - just saw your comment about not having a facebook...I know. I think that makes me UNcool...but that's okay! And did you know my DAD was the one who taught me to text? goodness! i still adore handwritten letters and phone calls. ;)
- melissa

Allie Marie Smith said...

B, I LOVED THIS video! Hilarious! I might have to post it on ours when I do a follow up blog on the "voyerism" that okay? I have found it's so liberating to admit I've been a voyeur! I've take then first step to recovery! LOVE YOU GIRL! Oh FB stories...I could go on!

Michelle said...

To Anonymous #3 (seriously there are a lot of you) ;) :
I TOTALLY think about WHO I'm friending and how I interact with (especially men) on FB. I think you have to think about those things when married. My husband is on FB and there are ladies from his childhood/early adult years who've friended him. I take peace in the fact that while he has a FB account he never actually uses it. ;) But I keep an eye on things. :P

Most AWKWARD FB to date: I have a friend whom I have a sort of strained relationship with (I still love her dearly and I've tried to repair the friendship but she has BIG WALLS up) who joined FB. A mutual friend suggested she and I become friends. So I had an email that "proved" she was on FB.

But then she "blocked me" so I couldn't "SEE" her on FB. So when we communicate I just let her believe that I don't know she's on FB and that she blocked me. ;) Someday hopefully she'll knock those walls down. And I don't want to add to the awkwardness that already exists in our IRL relationship.

Yes. FB is a weird land.

BUT... FB has been a HUGE aid in developing relationships with people who I'd NEVER have met without it. Like Miss Biana J. :)

I Named Your Dog said...

So that's your excuse why I haven't received my STARBUCKS CARD yet for winning the contest to name your dog KOBE ten years ago?

With the compounded interest involved here and a penalty fee for being sooooo late, the amount should be enough to actually own my own Starbucks store.

Oh well, maybe by the time we're in Israel again in 2011, you can buy me an "Aroma" coffee card?

Bianca said...

Whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one with horror stories.

Just to clarify, it's not like I hate it. I love being able to connect with people from speaking engagements, travel tours, or school, but the drama that comes with it is a bit much sometimes.

@INamedYourDog: Aroma it is! Whenever you want a cup of joe in Bethlehem, holla' at your girl ;P

..:*Ch*a*Ll*A:.. said...

there's a reason my name is misspelled lol

people just need to gauge in how much time other people spend their time on their computer. Im on the computer day and night but it doesn't mean Im on facebook or myspace. Im doing work! lol

I had a situation where I didn't know how to form a sentence within my discombobulation and my sentence read something else than what I wanted it to say and it caused such drama between a friend of mine I was laughing so hard as she's yelling at me for calling her a "social butterfly" when I meant something completely opposite of that. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL AND FORM SENTENCES! it's one of my biggest pet peeves when reading messages or txt even lol. but also there's better communication that way. lol.

Candice {The Beautiful Mess} said...

oh man. i know you don't need another person sharing their personal story...but just let me tell you this got me in trouble by not accepting my 3 sis-in-laws and moth-in-laws and the church my hubby grew up in-- fb requests. my hubby asked me not to...he grew up a pastor's kid...and just wanted a little privacy..'from the spying and snooping.'
makes things complicated.

love your blog girlie girl!

Dana said...

HILARIOUS!! I see people really take facebook to heart. ;-)

Anonymous said...

i just cant believe he called a meeting re: facebook. Poor bi!! i love when u blink too, its funny and I know u r waiting to answer when u do that!! :)


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