Thursday, February 18, 2010
Behind the computer screen is a land far, far away where you can be as honest as you so choose. The blogosphere is a special place for people to speak about secrets deep within, give opinions otherwise ignored, or voyeuristically peer into the lives of others.
Two years ago I began to blog anonymously. I chronicled lame dating experiences, my struggles with the scale, and secrets only told to the blogosphere anonymously. Sharing the holy grail of my inner world was difficult but cathartic. Yes, it was an online diary of a funny fat girl who attracted the weirdest men known to creation. And seriously, it was my life.
Until one day everything changed.
Without going into details, I discovered my little secret blog wasn't so secret. In fact, it felt like the pages had been ripped out and posted all on the lockers at school. On one specific day, I knew something was off kilter. I knew something wasn't right. I knew that they knew that we all knew I had an online diary. Like a scene out of a teen movie:
Cue a teen version of Bianca to walk down the hall! Cue the angst-ridden teens staring at her! Cue the group of mean girls laughing! Cue the power-wielding jock who controls all public opinion!
And that my friends, was how it all went down.
I drove home that night after church sobbing uncontrollably. I felt betrayed, crushed, and embarrassed. Then I felt angry--and wanted to slash some tires (I'm Puerto Rican--they're crazy!). But after a long conversation with Matt he assured me that it wasn't done out of malicious intent and people will always be shady.* Even Christians.
That was a turning point for me. I realized there was no power in anonymity and God gave me a literary voice for a reason: I could write.
We have gifts and talents that are bestowed upon us for a reason. Like the old Sunday School song says, why hide it under a bushel? Let your light shine! What are your talents? Do you write? Do you sing? Do you cook well? Do you sew? Don't live in anonymity!
Everybody has a talent. What is yours?
Matthew 25:22-23, 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.' His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things...'
*He didn't say shady. He's from the Mid West. But I paraphrased. Because I'm cool like that.