Monday, September 28, 2009
Last night in a small house on Maple Avenue with a broken fan and a faulty air-conditioner, I began our small-group study through the book of Esther. I was so excited to begin this study and more excited that it was tailored for women between the ages of 18-25 because it was roughly the age of Esther when God used her to do the impossible. I wanted to be like Esther and rally the girls to rise for such a time as this and do the impossible with their lives [insert clapping, affirming nods, and vibrant Amen's here].
But I stood in my grey dress and snake-skin heels while the girls fanned their faces and wiped the beads of sweat from their foreheads. No, I was not teaching a fire-n-brimstone message on hell. It just felt like we were in the pit of it. We had ten more verses to get through when I made the decision to just read them all in one breath andputthewordstogetherlikethis just so we could finish. Definitely goes down in the books as one of the worst teachings I've ever taught.
While in bed last night [kicking myself for The Worst Teaching Ever], I began to think about what I learned through the study of Esther. The narrative begins in a pagan city where God's presence is seemingly absent. There is no movement of God, no word from God, no sign from God. But He's there. Just as He was present at 915 Maple Avenue. Would I have liked the miraculous to occur and a cool breath from Yahweh chill our packed room? Would I liked to have chucked my notes out the window and quote Hebrew translations from memory? Would I have like to serve homemade scones instead of Chip's Ahoy cookies? ABSOLUTELY. But God doesn't always work in the miraculous.
Sometimes, the bigger miracles are the ones that occur in the natural realm. Like believing that God's word was planted in hearts and minds and lives were changed. Not because of me, but in spite of me.
On May 8th, 2009 I started this blog. I really didn't know what I would say, what would come of it, or who would read it, but I made a commitment to post one hundred blog entries, then assess if I wanted to continue on. Almost five months later, I've hit the goal and I'm exciting to commit to one hundred more. Why? Because I believe God's word can be planted in hearts and minds through this blog. Not because of me, but in spite of me.
Thanks for joining me on the first one hundred posts!