Thursday, February 11, 2010

cutting: by his wounds we are healed...

She bled for twelve years. A nameless, faceless woman in Mark 5 pushed through the throngs of people all wanting a miracle. But she was different. She believed. Her belief healed her.

Suzie bled in silence. Behind her pixie physique and wide smile was a girl who was unaccepted, untouched, unloved. Youth camps, all-nighters, bible studies, and mission trips all hid the internal bleeding which was killing her softly. No one knew her.

Jesus stopped the world on it's axis to meet the need of one woman. A woman he knew had been unaccepted, untouched, and unloved. According to the halacha Hebrew law, a bleeding woman couldn't sit in certain places, eat with certain people, or touch anyone who was pure. But she knew, she really, really, believed that a man name Jesus could heal her. And he did.

In the suicide ward I sat with Suzie for hours. A cutter, a loner, a girl hemorraging from a broken heart who masked it with indie fashion and blonde hair. Unsure of what to say, the only words said for the first hour was, What can I do for you? She laid on the hospital bed; the red scars glowed like neon signs for help against the clean white sheets.

Just touch me, she said. Just love me.

In living Life out loud, we have the power to be the physical touch of Jesus. Though I didn't have the power to heal Suzie, I told her she didn't have to suffer any longer. Her scars and stripes are now going to serve as signs of rememberance of what was stated in Isaiah 53:5, by His wounds we are healed.


melissa said...

Bianca. The day before yesterday my father was admitted to the hospital where he will stay for the week. I spent yesterday in prayer, with friends, my family...asking that the Lord give me the wisdom and words to share with my dad who doesn't know the Lord. Yesterday my husband said, "Just read his a scripture...ask God to show you something." My reply. "Thaaaat's scaaaarrrry!" But I prayed. And I was up until 1 a.m....searching, reading, just trying to find the right words. And this morning...(while brushing teeth nonetheless!)...I came here.

Today I will see him at lunch. I will share this story with him. He was admitted to the hospital for internal bleeding.

Thank you for your faithfulness Lord, for meeting us where we are, and for giving words of hope. And thank you for allowing Bianca to be your messenger.

Hugs and much love. Please keep me in prayer.

Joyce DZ said...

I raised this (suicide) question to you before because I grew up having a sister who tried so many times to kill herself. She used to locked the door which just left her 4 sisters helpless and crying. I never understood it and I don't think I ever will but I do believe in healing...

Thank you again for this and for touching not just my heart but also my soul. God bless you, Bianca!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for posting this! You remind me of the story in the bible with the 2 sisters. One is busy running around trying to tend to the guests. The other one is sitting and listening to Jesus. When the one sister gets upset, Jesus says that she is doing the only important thing. I'm so glad you are giving your testimony and spreading the word.

christy said...

beautiful post....reading this hits me hard in the heart and in the stomach...i recently sent u an email that kind of related to the subject matter of this do stop yourself from panicking when it might be someone thats in your family? (not to say it's any less important when it's not)....did u go to some sort of training dealing with suicidal teens?

the BLAH BLAH BLAHger said...

I just got chills...what a beautiful way to show Jesus' love. And what a great encouragement to the rest of us, that often times service isn't nearly as difficult as we may think.

Krystle said...

At my old church I was a youth leader and I had a teenager invite me to her hospital room where she was being held for "observation". She too was a cutter and suicidal.

You have touched my heart today as this girl continues to touch my heart today.

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing write, how do you do it, share some tips, please. Me the worst writer ever..= (

Tammy@If Meadows Speak... said...

Would love updates on Suzi. I feel for her and hope she meet the one Healer who was cut just for her.

Bianca said...

Yes, yes, yes! You need an update!

Suzie is married and has a child. God has healed her!

"By His stripes we are healed..."

Kati said...

Glory to God, forever!

The Montgomerys said...

What a blessing to hear this update about Suzie. This is such an amazing example of the power of Christ's healing. You encourage me to make myself more available to others.

love <3

jenny said...

i love that you did that.

that's true undefiled religion for sure.

thank you for showing her the Love of God ... The Love of God that would sit in a hospital for hours.


nessa said...

the reality of this is SO true and alot of people need to understand.
i know this from experience.
love IS needed.

this post was amazing!
love youuuu.

p.s. here is that response i told you i'd give ;)

Jasmine said...

I loved this post SO much!!

Anonymous said...

just wanted to jump back on here... by God's amazing grace, I was able to share Isa 53 with my dad today at the hospital...however, it was actually my stepmom that I was really there to minister to which was God throwing me a curve ball. So we found out that my dad has renal cancer that has spread to his liver, hence the internal bleeding. I haven't quite grasped it all, but I first and foremost hope and pray that the Lord will use this to reveal Himself to my parents

Thanks again for sharing this awesome testimony of your friend...nobody is without hope!

Soul said...

Wow. Praise GOD! I loved this.

Christine Newhook said...

I know this probably sounds corny but this post is powerful. You writing is phenominal and it really touched my heart. I hope she recovers quickly and becomes a strong, loving woman :)

Diandra Ann said...

perfect. i sound like a total crybaby from all the times i cry at your posts... they just seem to always hit my heart. been there. God is amazing... and unfortunately ive seen suicide wards with my teens as well. tough world. great God.


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